tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 09, 2010 @ 6:49 PM


MICHAEL JACKSON - had at least 2 girlfriends whose identity have remained a secret, according to his bodyguards. Well that’s all the proof I need. I’m sure it wasn’t a boy in a wig and a dress. Why can’t the girls go public? Who knows. Maybe they’re mermaids. (wonderwall)

GABOUREY SIDIBE - has joined the cast of a new Showtime series called, “The Big C”. The goal of the show is to see how many “the fat vagina” jokes the internet can make. (imdb)

JIMMY KIMMEL - might replace Barbara Walters as host of the interview special before the Oscars every year. It’s part of ABCs new plan to make shows people watch and enjoy. (pop eater)

JESSICA SIMPSON - is glad she doesn’t look like Daisy Duke anymore. “So am I”, agreed No One On Earth. (us.com)

KATY PERRY - should have been posted yesterday but can’t be forgotten because her Oscar dress was terrific. Her hair was down and the dress actually flattered her body instead of hiding it under 1800 yards of fabric. It went against the normal award show trend of trying to look as terrible as possible. (getty and splash)

(137) Comments

  1. avatar
    Jessica 03/09/2010 18:50

    If you are looking for a partner based on lifestyle and physical chemistry as well as personal beliefs and common interests, you may try ** –SeekingAffluent.com–** Good Luck:)

  2. avatar
    Dr. Gonzo 03/09/2010 18:54

    This fucking jessica thing is out of control. They aren’t even changing ids anymore.
    Who’s in charge here?
    Or is this paid advertising on the site now?

  3. avatar
    hankenstein 03/09/2010 18:54

    And, on that note, someone told me about seekingFLATULENCE.com. It’s the place where you can meet gassy millionaires, who are searching for their special someone.

  4. avatar
    Dr. Gonzo 03/09/2010 18:55

    I think katy is not pregnant actually.

    I know how she can get pregnant.

    Anybody want to see?

  5. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 03/09/2010 19:01

    I assume she has rust on the urethral mediator?

  6. avatar
  7. avatar
    Observer 03/09/2010 19:07

    GABOUREY SIDIBE in “The Big C” ???

    …The Big Coon?

  8. avatar
    Observer 03/09/2010 19:08

    The Big C [olored Girl]

  9. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/09/2010 19:10

    I’m pregnant. Magic.

  10. avatar
    Rokan 03/09/2010 19:14

    She looks dirty.

    I like that in a girl.

  11. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 03/09/2010 19:36

    I told you to stay away from Pepper.

  12. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/09/2010 19:38

    Doesn’t he already have offspring? I doubt he’d accept our passion bastard child.

  13. avatar
    Woodsman 03/09/2010 19:40

    Noitce that the right one is bigger than the left one? (I am referring to her eyes, of course).

  14. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 03/09/2010 19:42

    How it strains towards our eyes, how it bulges, alluring and swollen, with its hair from which emerges, like the three nude goddesses above the trees of Mount Ida, the incomparable lustre of the belly and the two thighs. Touch, go on and touch: you could not put your hands to better use. Touch that voluptuous smile, trace the ravishing gap with your finger. There: let your two motionless palms, your love-smitten mitts on that prominent curve, join up towards the hardest, best point which raises the holy ogive to its peak, o my church. Don’t budge, stay, and now with two caressing thumbs, take advantage of this tired child’s goodwill, press, with your caressing thumbs gently, more gently, part the beautiful lips with your two caressing thumbs, your two thumbs. And now, all hail to thee, pink palace, pale casket, alcove a little disordered by the grave joy of love, vulva appearing for a moment in its fullness. Under the designer-label satin of dawn, the colour of summer when one closes their eyes.

  15. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/09/2010 19:43

    It always seems to be the right one that’s bigger…I wonder why… It’s not like you use one more than the other (I am, of course, referring to tits, and to a lesser extent, testicles.)

  16. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/09/2010 19:46

    Mony is either retarded, or very foreign. I heartily enjoy his nonsensical, yet poetic posts.

  17. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 03/09/2010 19:47

    Steff, when you make love, stop thus. Bella doesn’t see it that way. She arches her loins like a scream unleashed.

  18. avatar
    DarkCherry 03/09/2010 19:47

    stef i like the dress your wearing in your avi. is the corset attached or no?

  19. avatar
    Woodsman 03/09/2010 19:48

    If Katy Perry and Paris Hilton had a kid, would it have two big eyes or would it look like Gilbery Godfried?

  20. avatar
    Woodsman 03/09/2010 19:49

    Gilbery is Gilbert’s twin

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