Lindsay Lohan only has today and tomorrow to complete 3 alcohol education classes, or else the judge claims she’ll issue a warrant for Lindsays arrest. But this sweet little lamb had to go to Cannes to get drunk work, and because of that big volcano she sort of heard something about, all the flights back to the US are full! Oh gosh, of all the rotten luck.
But sources say she can’t get a flight back to the States because of the volcanic ash from Iceland. Airports all over Europe are jam-packed and it’s impossible to get a seat.
These Lohans really are dumb as rocks. How did she get to Cannes 2 days ago? She dig a tunnel? And unless she was planning on being the pilot, there are tons of seats to get back, on your choice of planes.
Delta has 5 non-stop flights from Paris to NYC. With one days notice they have 116 seats open in first class, well over 100 more in coach (flight 8660, 8654, 8550, 8532, 8554). She can go from Cannes to Paris on rail in two in a half hours, then chose her own flight.
Flights on Air France look wide open as well. Their site also gives daily updates about the volcano. Today it says: “The volcanic ash cloud’s position does not impact our flights for the moment. Consequently, today, May 18, all Air France flights should operate according to schedule.”
The good news is that she’s too arrogant to ever back down from one of her dumb lies. So we may get an interview with Lindsay from inside her hotel room as it rains down “volcanic ash”. Upon closer inspection the ash appears to be feathers. Then Lindsay will take the camera and point it outside and the camera will pan over and Ali will be on the bed waving cut up pillows around. And in a quick slight of hand, instead of pointing the camera out the window, Lindsay will point it at the TV. Which is showing that scene where Paris gets blown up in ‘Armageddon’. And she’ll try to time it so that when the wave of destruction rolls toward the screen, Lindsay will fall down and say, “Oh my gosh what was that”. It will be like if ‘Cloverfield’ was made be a drunken retard. Of course, ‘Armageddon’ was about an asteroid but Lindsay doesn’t know what that means, or why I’m bringing it up in relation to her plan.
Wow… I think some bit of research was actually done for this one.
…and what the fuck is an Alcohol Education Class?
That’s Beer.
That’s Whiskey.
That’s Tequila… stay away from that one.
WWTDD just became my Travel Agency.
Wow, she really is as dumb as a sack of rocks
Good, I needed to know what Lindsay Lohan was doing today. Now I can sleep the sleep of a man with nothing on his conscience.
It’s not her!
It’s those damn “sources”! They’re the ones that say shit’s impossible!
I simply sleep the sleep of a man with no conscience.
…or girlfriend.
Coming soon to a street corner somewhere in Cannes, Lindsay Lohan holding a sign saying “Will give head for food”
IT’S A DUCK!
No, BUNNY!
…DUCK!
…BUNNY!
…DUCK SEASON!
…WABBIT SEASON!
JtT,
A. What the fuck are you smoking?
B. Pass that shit!
Nobody sees the Duck/Bunny?
It’s just right there –>
Dey spinnin’ n-i-g-g-a, dey SPINNIN’!
Its fuuny, the people behind that inferno movie dont even have the rights to use the name “Linda Lovelace” or “Deep Throat” yet. So Lindsay is risking jail time to go to Cannes to promote a movie thats has not even in pre-production….she is dumb as rocks
…and now I have Sanitarium stuck in my head.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Those are like…words up there…..way too many for me…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
She’ll blow the judge you watch!
I like it better when you sing Orion.
Jesus Christ, BALLSY!
…and I’m pretty sure Linds didn’t go to Cannes for some simple promotional work.
That’s like going to Vegas to “just play cards”.
she actually looks fuckable in this one…
Funny fucker there, Finkle.
Bitch probably has a private jet