As you watch Tom Cruise sell a billion ‘Knight and Day’ movie tickets by dancing with Hennifaa Yopez at last nights MTV Movie Awards, keep in mind that he’s … ahem … FORTY FUCKING SEVEN years old. I’m joining scientolgoy immediately. I asked my old god for immortality a hundred times. You know what I got? Nothin. A big fat nothin.
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(17) Comments
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His ability to take a good joke from two years ago and repeat it in a less funny way is truly awe-inspiring.
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It’s George Costanza!
Suck his dick some more, man. Suck it hard, and swallow every drop of his warm choad.
WOW. Tom Cruise && J-Lo! My letters to MTV did get through!!!1!
I wouldnt be suprised if there was a sequal movie to Tropic Thunder Starring Tom Cruz……..
Finally saw Tropic Thunder the night before this, and it made it a touch more enjoyable.
I’d plow JLo still.
Are we sure that’s him? That’s a lof of fucking makeup. And that guy is about a foot taller than Tommy Boy.
But seriously, I hate MTV. I hate everything it has become and will ever be. That said, the best they can do for the current MTV generation is Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez? Those kids in the audience must feel like they’re watching their parents put on a talent show.
It’s been said that gay men make the best dancers……
J LO looks great
you don’t seriously think he’s a good dancer, do you? He looks incredibly awkward.
Did Krushgroove shame you into changing the headline into something less wide-eyed and felating? Should have stuck to your man-loving guns, IMO.
I am 5 years younger than Tom (to the day.) He will be 48 in less than a month. If I tried that routine (hypothetically, as I am neither gay nor famous), they would have carried me off the stage in a stretcher, heart exploded in my chest.
Say what you will about that crazy, moon-loving midget, he is handling middle age more gracefully than anyone deserves.
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I’ve seen better dancing on “Dancing with the Stars”. You’d think their choreographer would’ve came up with something much more original than crotch grabbing and booty bumping. Age ain’t nothing…80 year old, Buzz Aldrin and other oldies have done much better.
If you can’t do *that* at 47 then welcome to the pitifully out of shape American majority. Put the doughnut down Tyler and go for a walk. ;)
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