this will not be satisfying

Lindsay Lohan failed two consecutive drug tests just two weeks after conning her way out of rehab, so this morning she’s in court to face a judge for violating her parole. She arrived just about 30 minutes ago, at 8:18am in LA, though cameras have been banned from the courtroom, so we can’t watch her fake crying this time.

There’s been no change since last night, she’s still expected to walk out as if nothing happened. It’s a wonderful system we have. There has to be some state somewhere that still has dueling on the books. One of those really old ones in the northeast, who never got around to making it illegal. I just need to get her into one of those. Then I call her a strumpet, slap her with a glove and then we’ll be aallll set.

9:00am UPDATE: session has not begun yet. It’s about 30 minutes late at this point. E! is reporting that Judge Elden Fox entered chambers but then left, though it’s not clear why. They also say Judge Fox might “throw the book” at her and deny any possibility of an early release if she is sentenced to 30 days in jail, but that is unlikely.