finally. a Kim Kardashian mastercard.

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 3:04 PM


Credit and debit cards have become a staple of everyday life, but I’ve always wanted one that I could also jack off to. Well now somebody has made my dream a reality! The New York Post says…

Kim Kardashian (will) be at a party tomorrow to promote the launch of a prepaid credit card for children … the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCards are being marketed as helping parents keep their kids safe by allowing them to monitor their teens’ spending through their cellphones.
“Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do,” a rep said. “And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card.”

This is like when you see an ad and some lady is massaging her back with something that is clearly a dildo. Stop pretending. The only people buying this are lonely perverts who wanna get the motor running while they use it to subscribe to a porn site. And if my card isn’t here Friday like they promised I’m gonna be pissed.


(31) Comments

  1. i hate you 11/08/2010 15:05

    i don’t like pigs, but i love bacon.

    i just read that some douchebags are actually playing the quiditch or however the hell you spell it. this world is fucked. i am moving.

    i hate you

  2. Dirty Dirt McGirk 11/08/2010 15:16

    another paid for post. place is a shit portal.

  3. MadAlfred 11/08/2010 15:22

    DDMG, you are worthless.

  4. SCUM 11/08/2010 15:24

    The real version….Kim Kardashian (will) be at a party tomorrow to promote the launch of a prepaid credit card for coons … the Kardashian Prepaid MassaCards are being marketed as helping whites keep the spooks in line by allowing them to monitor the spooks spending through their cellphones.
    “Negros do not spend their welfare money as the rest of America think’s they do,” a rep said. “And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my BOY a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card.”

  5. JUB-JUB 11/08/2010 15:46

    These post today make no sense. What the hell?? Are you drunk putting this stuff up B?? Scum’s post was f*ing as hell though. At least something good came out of it.

  6. JUB-JUB 11/08/2010 15:48

    Ooops…..f*ing funny as hell. I’m still adjusting to the time change.

  7. MrAdams 11/08/2010 15:51

    Where da free shit be?

  8. Death to Finkle! 11/08/2010 15:52

    Filling in for Zombie today, we have MadAlfred. MadAlfred, everybody…

  9. SCUM 11/08/2010 15:54

    Thanks JUB-JUB, I try. WHITE POWER.

  10. Dirty Dirt McGirk 11/08/2010 15:57

    MadAlfred, my apathy towards this place has relieved me of the hatred i would have at one time spewed upon you…my response as of late has been relegated to a simple, “go fuck yourself”. I truly hope you understand.
    xoxo. kisses.

  11. Gildorg 11/08/2010 15:58

    So who the hell is actually going to use this card?

    Perverts are supposed to order them? Why? When you can see naked pictures of her online…

    She has pretty decent sized Tits, so I can see some of the reason behind her popularity… But overall, she isn’t that hot, I don’t find her HUGE ass attractive at all!

    If this is supposed to be marketed at Kids… She is supposed to be a Role Model for kids now? Someone who is only really famous for having a Sex Tape? What’s next? Paris Hilton Lunchboxes and Phone Cards?

  12. SCUM 11/08/2010 16:05

    Wade Phillips just got fired, hahahahahahahaha.

  13. Watt 11/08/2010 16:15

    I’ve always wanted a card that says, “my kids a pretentious cunt!”

  14. i hate you 11/08/2010 16:28

    jersery shore credit cards have a better APR and you get special deals on Ed Hardy. fuck this. fuck you. madalfred does cock fill your ass during most night time hours?

  15. clownqueef 11/08/2010 16:32

    Madalfred’s face would imply that there is something rather large up his skelator ass making it tight and uncomfortable. My guess is, that “something” is a weiner. or two.

  16. Dirty Dirt McGirk 11/08/2010 16:41

    can i get a pre paid master card for 5$ cheaper, that doesn’t have a pic of a hooved mountain goat who is famous for having a fat ass, a mongoloid sister, and the ability to take black cox? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. SCUM 11/08/2010 16:42

    Fuck you muff cabbage.

  18. KoJo2389 11/08/2010 16:47

    Whatta fuckin’ Monday. Fuck the Kardashian’s. They’re all obnoxious. And Kim is NOT that fucking attractive. I can find a big ass and huge tits on half a dozen better looking porn stars, ok? This bitch’s popularity is ridiculous. How many shows does she fucking have anyway!? 3? 4??!!

  19. Nik Richie’s Internet Stalker Report 11/08/2010 17:45

    [...] is in desperate need of attention again.This was the best trick play in football this year no doubt!Finally, a Kim Kardashian credit card… **yaawwwn*!Its almost official, MySpace is about to die.Click HERE to follow Nik Richie on Twitter! /**/ Leave [...]

  20. Habitual Line Stepper 11/08/2010 20:48

    Yes, the American banking system completely failed two years ago … Not sure if anyone noticed … but hey … Just so ya know.

    With the new Kim Kardashian credit card now we can show that we are culturally bankrupt too.

    Well done.

    We’re goin’ down.

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