Julia Roberts is a moron

By brendon December 02, 2010 @ 1:19 PM

Julia Roberts is a mean old bitch (as best illustrated in this email from her neighbor in Malibu) and you can tell as much in this commercial for an Italian coffee company that she got $1.5 million for.

First of all, she couldn’t be bothered to say even one word, which by the end makes things really awkward and uncomfortable. Say something dummy! What are you, autistic? It’s probably because she’s too dumb to say anything in Italian, even “pizza” or something like that, without fucking it up beyond all comprehension. She would say “PIE-tza” with that insufferable drawl and then cackle like an asshole for 10 minutes. So the director was like, “ok dipshit can you at least stand there and not fall down? Holy Christ it’s like working with a monkey.”

But that’s the off camera stuff. The commercial itself is about Julia being hired to do a job but she’s gonna pout and not do it until everyone kisses her ass and caters to her every whim. Oh, gee, I wonder how they came up with that idea.

(54) Comments

  1. avatar
    rokan 12/02/2010 13:19


  2. avatar
    i hate you 12/02/2010 13:22

    i don’t like red heads. there.

  3. avatar
    MrAdams 12/02/2010 13:23

    Naturally, I don’t know Julia Roberts, but I have yet to see her in a movie I liked. In other words, she sucks!

  4. avatar
    Smacko 12/02/2010 13:24

    I’d hate fuck her, but only if my mom got to watch

  5. avatar
    rokan 12/02/2010 13:26


    I’m sure she’s not a natural redhead.

    I bet she has a massive bush filled with gray hair.

    I just gave myself a boner.

  6. avatar
    minimosh 12/02/2010 13:26

    I peed in the shower.

  7. avatar
    Mike Hunt 12/02/2010 13:28

    She needs a good hoof up her ass.

  8. avatar
    rokan 12/02/2010 13:30


    Did it warm your feet up?

  9. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 12/02/2010 13:31

    I’m with jack ass on this one.

  10. avatar
    Tom Foolery 12/02/2010 13:31

    Been a Spite F nominee everyday this week….keep it rolling.

  11. avatar
    Zombie 12/02/2010 13:35

    Based on the headline it’s evident that Julie Roberts and Mr Adams have something in common.

  12. avatar
    i hate you 12/02/2010 13:36

    rokan: i have never seen grey pubic hair – i will try to avoid that for a while. i like cleanly manicured clams. this is just where we differ.

  13. avatar
    Zombie 12/02/2010 13:42

    While I’m on the subject, just by a quick show of hands —- does anybody even like or associate with Mr Adams the slightest bit?

  14. avatar
    MrAdams 12/02/2010 13:44

    Oooooh, your tongue feels so good, Zombie! My balls are clean, now lick my ass!

  15. avatar
    minimosh 12/02/2010 13:45

    No Rokan. I take hot showers.

    And I have seen gray pubic hair. Picture an old man bikers goatee.

  16. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 12/02/2010 13:46

    Shoes du jour, mini?

  17. avatar
    minimosh 12/02/2010 13:49

    A quick show of hands- who the fuck cares? I don’t think anybody comes here because they genuinely LIKE the other members Zombie. You should know that, silly.

  18. avatar
    i hate you 12/02/2010 13:51

    mini you just blew my mind…

  19. avatar
    Tom Foolery 12/02/2010 13:53

    I love you guys

  20. avatar
    rokan 12/02/2010 13:56


    I like Adams.

    I also like taking a shit, furry bushes, and long walks in the rain with that “special someone.”

    Thanks for asking

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