julia roberts is mean, ugly

By brendon January 14, 2010 @ 12:48 PM


Julia Roberts has been on this page 8 times, and 6 of those times were because she’s a bitter old pain in the ass. One time it was for parking in a handicapped spot, twice it was for cursing out the paparazzi (1, 2), once it was for giving her kids dumb names, last time it was for being a bitch in India.

Number 9 is a personal email sent to me last night from her neighbor in Malibu. Try and guess if it’s good.

I would normally never email anything about  a celebrity like this, but I love you and I am Julia Robert’s neighbor and steam is coming out of my ears right now.  For the second time in a month she has flipped me off driving down my own street in Malibu like some crazy botoxed homeless person.  She then proceeded to wait for me as i came back out of my gate from my OWN home and berate me in front of my 10 year old daughter when i asked her what her problem was.  Apparently she has some defunct radar detector in the back of her head since the speed limit on my street is 25 mph and i was doing MAYBE 20.  I know this because there was a huge truck blocking most of the road and i had to slow to almost a stop to get past it and when i saw her i was really aware of my speed since she’d flipped me off a few weeks ago while she was jogging with her trainer at 8 in the morning.  She informed me i was speeding and accused me of almost running over her dog.  when i told her i absolutely was not, she said “oh-then i guess you’re on top of the situation” with all this nasty sarcasm.  Her old ugly dog she didn’t have on a leash walked right up to my right tire and thank god i wasn’t speeding or i would have ran right over it.  I guess when Julia Roberts walks down the street you’re not allowed to even drive on it! But the fact that she could see my 10 year old daughter in my car and she still had the gall to yell at me and accuse me of speeding in an attempt to run over her dog is unreal to me.  Doesn’t she have husbands to steal or something?  On on top of this, several of her neighbors have been threatening to sue her for the trees she recently planted and the disgusting, ugly, illegal old gulfstream trailer she keeps on her property for her gardeners or other underlings to use since god forbid her gardeners keep their tools in her garage and actually look at her without her say so.  She also leaves her garbage cans in the middle of the street for weeks because she is never in town for very long and obviously her gardeners don’t really feel like doing anything for her in her absence.  The entire street loathes her.  Most of us are locals and I for one have not only lived here my whole life but so has my family and my daughter was born and raised here.  She needs to go back to New Mexico where there is enough room for her giant cunty ego!!!!!!!

Just two nights ago I was watching ‘Oceans 12′ and I guess I’d never seen that in HD before because AHHHH WTF IS THAT! When did she get this ugly? George Clooney must be the preeminent actor of our times because he’s an inch away from that goblin and he just sits there and takes it.

I forgot to turn off the CC when making some screencaps, but it worked out. It captioned his subconscious. Here he says he’s sorry for keeping her in the dark. That’s nice of him to say but I’d keep that fug mess in the dark too. She’s lucky he didn’t keep her in the woods under a net. And here he asks if it’s okay and despite her answer I can assure you it’s not. It’s not okay at all.

(51) Comments

  1. avatar
    Slaappy 01/14/2010 12:54

    I’d still want to tickle those mouth lines and chaff those huge lips…

  2. avatar
    whatizdat 01/14/2010 12:56

    Too many words, not enough tits.

    I’d still hit her in the shitter.

  3. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/14/2010 12:59

    wow , that gray box looks like one of my posts.

  4. avatar
    pepper 01/14/2010 13:02

    whatizdat…”not enough tits”
    am I missing something?
    I don’t see one teta…

  5. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 13:04

    So, she’s a bitch? Is anyone surprised?

  6. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/14/2010 13:04

    She’s just pissed off that her brother is Eric Roberts and that he never took a stage name.

  7. avatar
    whatizdat 01/14/2010 13:04

    True Pepper

    No tits here people, move along please, we can hope for a nipple slip or side boob on the next post.

    Now move along, move along.

  8. avatar
    cmb224 01/14/2010 13:06

    Uh, one rich Malibu pain in the ass complaining about another….screw them both.

  9. avatar
  10. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/14/2010 13:10

    She may have lips that could cover Citizen’s Bank Park during a rain delay, but I think she’s aged well. Back in her prime she was one hot piece of ass. I’d still cock-stab the shit outta her with a smile on my face.

  11. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/14/2010 13:12

    I love how Br3ndon has made fun of three very good looking women in a row, but he’s dating some slant eye’d ch!nk with a flat ass. But to each his own. I’d rather pork a Wal*Mart bag filled with cocoa butter than an asian girl.

  12. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 13:12

    Nah, never found her good looking. The female interest in the new George Clooney film however is pretty nice

  13. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 01/14/2010 13:14

    Hey Deebs, so you’re cool with getting seconds on JLH and Jess right?

  14. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/14/2010 13:15

    doesnt she have bolt ons as well db?

  15. avatar
    ObamiTheCommi 01/14/2010 13:19

    Who the Fuck would want to watch Oceans 12 in the first place?

  16. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/14/2010 13:21

    Hells yea, Rusty.

  17. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/14/2010 13:22

    And yes, Dirt. She’s got fake, ugly tits. I’d fuck Jessica Simpson a million times and a million times more before I gave Br3ndon’s asian tramp a single look.

  18. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 01/14/2010 13:25

    so he’s got his own Tila Tequila huh?

  19. avatar
    RemSteale 01/14/2010 13:26

    I think Tequila just has the edge actually

  20. avatar
    meatbydapound 01/14/2010 13:29

    Can I have JS when everyone is done with her? I won’t make her shower prior to me penetrating her anal cavity. I also think that I would scrunch her dress up on her midsection. I’ve fornicated with a few fat chicks in my day and that’s a great way to just focus on those fantastic sweater monkeys she has.

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