morning headlines

By brendon January 26, 2011 @ 11:33 AM


SKINS – has now lost so many sponsors (Taco Bell, Wrigley, Subway, Foot Locker, L’Oreal and Shick) due to its subject matter, it’s now in danger of being canceled. Can’t they just get new sponsors? Sponsors who aren’t so uptight? Like tequila, or the morning after pill. Or a tequila with the morning after pill in it. (fox)

PENELOPE CRUZ AND JAVIER BARDEM – are now the parents of a baby boy, with Penelope giving birth the same day Javier was nominated for an Academy Award as Best Actor. Because of course she couldn’t let him be the center of attention for even 5 minutes. Selfish cunt. (huff post)

JESSE JAMES – is the subject of two more Nazi related pictures (as he was about a year ago), though these aren’t as bad. Or as good, depending on how you feel about Nazis. (us)

JOE MANGANIELLO – of True Blood is a leading candidate to play Superman in the reboot from producer Christopher Nolan and director Zach Snyder, and I’m sorry but no one named Joe Manganiello should be playing Superman. Or is part of the re-imagining to have a Superman who wears bronzer and “ice” in his ear, and instead of flying he drives a Mitsubishi Eclipse around. “Hey, hello, excuse me. I’m bein friggin Superman over here huh, so how about you show a little friggin respect.” (la times)

JAMIE CHUNG – stars in the upcoming Sucker Punch, and now she’s on the cover of Complex. I’ve said this a million times but Asian girls are just better than regular girls, in every way, at everything. And Jamie is a good example. If we ever had sex I would absolutely try to get her pregnant so she could never leave me. (complex)

(25) Comments

  1. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 01/26/2011 11:44

    no doubt, Jamie Chung will end up in the “crowd favorites” paid for vip section.

  2. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/26/2011 11:45

    I would marry Jamie Chung…
    But she would have to blow me every day to make up for her being in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

    (as you know…I deserve to be blown first)

  3. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 01/26/2011 11:46

    You just love the chin-ks so much cause they have no tits and their bodies look like little boys.

  4. avatar
    Tweets that mention morning headlines - What Would Tyler Durden Do -- 01/26/2011 11:55

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Celebrity Geek, Nate Harris, Celebrity Pepper, ranj atkar, ranj atkar and others. ranj atkar said: morning headlines: SKINS – has now lost so many sponsors (Taco Bell, Wrigley, Subway, Foot Locker, L’Oreal and S… [...]

  5. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/26/2011 11:55

    Taco Bell pulled out?
    Too many people were asking…..”Where is the beef?”

    see what I did there…….?

  6. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/26/2011 11:59

    Jamie Chung…sponsored by Everlast……
    More like Neverlast….in a few weeks we will be saying….”Jamie Who?”

  7. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/26/2011 12:09 this place DEAD!!!!
    I have a box of nails and hammer….who has a coffin?

  8. avatar
    MrAdams 01/26/2011 12:09

    “In a few weeks”? How about “today”?

  9. avatar
    FlyingForeskin 01/26/2011 12:11

    Jamie is fantastic, loved her since the Real World. Also i don’t agree with the pregnant part, but ya, asians are better at everything, especially being hot.

  10. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/26/2011 12:12

    MrAdams…I will as soon as I spit a little DNA……

  11. avatar
    Reeses Feces 01/26/2011 12:12

    He make like the Asians because of the little hands. Think of all the places they’ll fit in that a man’s hand won’t fit. And if anyone is wondering Asian vag goes up and down like everyone else, not sideways.

  12. avatar
    Reeses Feces 01/26/2011 12:13

    *may.. Jeez I’m writing like Mikey now. Durrrrrrhh pener iz bent..

  13. avatar
    i hate you 01/26/2011 12:26

    i love asian chics too, but it’s not bc i am a steroidal, closet gay.

  14. avatar
    Chicagoaniml 01/26/2011 12:38

    Asian chicks are like a consolation prize if you can’t get a white girl.

  15. avatar
    i hate you 01/26/2011 12:43

    i love them all, but that’s just a naive comment chicago. did cutler move in with you yet?

  16. avatar
    Slaappy 01/26/2011 12:56

    I never been with an asian and I’m glad cause most look like our tard mikey…

  17. avatar
    Goat Effer 01/26/2011 13:01

    This place is exactly like d-listed only it’s about 12 hours slower with posts, has boring subject matter and is about as funny as seeing my 89 year old grandma fall and slip on a patch of ice.

    If not for some of the user commentary and the occasional titty post, I reckon more people would probably read Snooki’s book than this website.

  18. avatar
    uknowwhere2findme 01/26/2011 13:06

    I’m with Goat Effer.

  19. avatar
    i hate you 01/26/2011 13:15

    slaappy your avi is cockasian.

  20. avatar
    Reeses Feces 01/26/2011 13:18

    I’ve pretty much stopped reading the posts and skip to the comments. Socializing with you turds is more entertaining.

    Did I ever tell you guys my poops come packaged in little brown wrappers and have peanut buttery goodness inside?

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