Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 8:37 PM


So if Charlie Sheen does die today (and honestly if he does who cares) at least he’ll have gone out nailing one of the hottest girls in porn, if not all of Hollywood, in Melanie Rios. According to radar, she was the other porn star with Sheen this morning after he went to the hospital, though there’s no mention of it on her twitter, which has been updated twice today.

The first porn star is said to be Kacey Jordan, who is actually kind of ugly, and it shows how badly drugs can impair your judgment because Melanie has a sister named Valerie (or at least they say they’re sisters), and that’s them pictured, and they… um… do stuff (NSFW).

In Sheens defense, its hard to make informed decisions when your doing bricks of cocaine at a time. TMZ says…

Sheen had a “briefcase full of cocaine” delivered to his home — and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital … this according to a source inside the house.
We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women.
After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine.
We’re told Sheen immediately began doing the drug for several hours.

And people freak out when I say I hope he dies? Seriously, who cares? Not him. Hell even if he does die, his last words will have been, “WEEEEEEE!!!!!”

(32) Comments

  1. avatar
    Barbarella 01/27/2011 20:41

    Woodchipper teeth.

  2. avatar
    Michelle07 01/27/2011 20:50

    Ohhhh well la di da Mr. Coke Executive

  3. avatar
    Woodsman 01/27/2011 20:54

    I wouldn’t put my “partner” in that chipper

  4. avatar
    CaboBomb 01/27/2011 21:04

    Tell us how you really feel!! Lol
    We know you love him. He helps keep you in business. Lol
    You could always sell him a briefcase full of hot coke? Problem solved.
    But then you wouldn’t have so much to write about. Lol
    Keep up the hating!! It’s good for biz!!

  5. avatar
    MrAdams 01/27/2011 21:20

    Charlie Sheen should have read the instructions on that new “Anal Intruder” he bought. Then he wouldn’t have the abdominal pains.

  6. avatar
    Tweets that mention Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios - What Would Tyler Durden Do -- 01/27/2011 21:26

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Celebrity Geek, antony widyatmoko, ranj atkar, Celebrity Pepper, Ian Wallace and others. Ian Wallace said: Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios: So if Charlie Sheen does die today (and honestly if he does… [...]

  7. avatar
    rokan 01/27/2011 21:28

    That was his NSFW? You’re fucking kidding me.

    I am in Irvine tonight. Come pick me up and let’s go beat up some bums up in Santa Monica

  8. avatar
    TetraHydroCannabinol 01/27/2011 21:45

    Meh… And people wonder why this site is going to shit.

  9. avatar
    Mr. Pickles 01/27/2011 22:16

    B can tickle my pickle for stealling my schtick. Chuckles sure knows how to party. He is way cooler than will ever be.

    *pulls down adult diaper, flings fresh poo on the wall while fully erect, dips balls in brendan’s maalox, drags balls across new rug to dry them, jerks off on curtains*


  10. avatar
    i hate you 01/27/2011 22:25

    nsfw if you work at a church.

    why do you hate on charlie sheen so much? then say nice things about kim kardashian and her fat fucking ass or show pics of sam ronson driving up to fucking dumpster surrounded by latin americans. you should be handing this guy a medal and showing us real deal nsfw pics for us to look at while at work!

    i have a news flash for you, this guy is the only good thing going in hollywood right now and if he dies we get more slow doses of clorox in our breakfast cereal. fucking genius.

    on a side note, i took a totally green poop today. i mean everything in the toilet was green, even the water. can jager do that?

  11. avatar
    i hate you 01/27/2011 22:29

    and bc i am a team player. here are some other pics. do not name your daughter after a porn star bc the first time you google her name…..

  12. avatar
    i hate you 01/27/2011 22:32

    these are better, mikey told me so.

  13. avatar
    ReverseApacheMaster 01/27/2011 22:51

    “One of the hottest girls in porn, if not all of Hollywood”

    One of the most inaccurate statements I’ve ever read on this site, if not in my entire life.

  14. avatar
    Mr. Pickles 01/27/2011 23:17

    What the hell does this mean from ol’ boys twitta?

    were actually going the other way. im tired of the site being blocked, being lumped in with porn. its maddening.


  15. avatar
    teutonic 01/27/2011 23:19

    Sheen might die, but he’ll still be more employable than Lilo.

  16. avatar
    MrAdams 01/27/2011 23:31

    I would not be one bit surprised if Charlie Sheen blamed his illness on the government trying to silence him from speaking the truth about the 9/11 conspiracy, instead of his overdosing. The guy has the brains of Rosie O’Donell. You can worship a pile of shit like Charlie if you want, but I am hoping he doesn’t survive the evening.

  17. avatar
    i hate you 01/27/2011 23:48

    adams we didn’t say he wasn’t a fucking idiot. i admire he tenacity for partying and fucking. no rock stars are doing this any more. i applaud him, but whores will kill you one way or another.

  18. avatar
    Gildorg 01/27/2011 23:49

    Hmmm… Here is one that just seemed appropriate, even if it isn’t as long as some the others…

    “Most people don’t know how they’re gonna feel from one moment to the next. But a dope fiend has a pretty good idea. All you gotta do is look at the labels on the little bottles.”

  19. avatar
    teutonic 01/28/2011 00:02

    If goes straight/sober/dry he’ll be more boring than George W Bush.
    If nothing else Sheen proves there is better living through chemistry and sober people just aren’t funny.

  20. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 01/28/2011 00:05

    so a pic of 2 porn stars, not exposing any tit or genitalia, and simply kissing, is what passes for NSFW these days?

    I think i have to go ahead and declare that, complete and total bullshit.

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