Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car

By brendon September 08, 2011 @ 12:43 PM

reese_witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon clings to life at a university hospital after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs in an abandoned pool.

Wait. Wait, no. She was bumped by a car in a crosswalk.

The incident occurred during a jog in Santa Monica, Calif., a rep for the actress, 35, confirms to PEOPLE. The driver, an 84-year-old woman, was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk, say reports.
Explaining that she was not seriously injured, the rep says Witherspoon is “resting comfortably at home.”
Santa Monica police Sgt. Richard Lewis told the Associated Press that Witherspoon was jogging in an unmarked crosswalk when she was struck.

“An unmarked crosswalk”? Isn’t that just “the street”? Reese is a real dumbass. Even if it was a crosswalk, she needs to keep her head on a swivel. It’s not a force field for christs sake.

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11 Comments

(11) Comments

  1. MrAdams 09/08/2011 12:54

    Those old bags creeping along at 20 mph can sneak up on ya! This is a shitty story.

  2. Dr Poop 09/08/2011 13:00

    She may have cervical trauma.

    I will need to get her up in the stirrups just to be safe.

  3. i hate you 09/08/2011 13:17

    i want to do things to her from nashville to LA. rokey pokey. here this should help you.

    http://www.rubmaps.com/

  4. Gildorg 09/08/2011 13:19

    Poop.

    It needed to be said…

  5. Dr Poop 09/08/2011 13:31

    Gildorg,

    I would like to take a few pictures of your liver.

    I am going to a seminar next week an we have all been asked to show and “amazing story of survival.”

  6. Pepper 09/08/2011 13:39

    Too bad it was not in a FREEWAY…

  7. Admiral 09/08/2011 16:28

    “An unmarked crosswalk”? Isn’t that just “the street”?

    Hahaha, I almost spit my coffee all over my computer.

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  9. sjbya 09/08/2011 21:26

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  11. ZTYWQQGPWZ 09/11/2011 11:25

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