Taylor Swift is still a vindictive bitch

By brendon January 27, 2012 @ 2:24 PM

taylor-swift-jake-gyllenhaal

Taylor Swift gets a lot of credit for writing her own songs, but she shouldn’t because all they are is a list reasons why every guy she’s ever dated is an asshole. Naturally that means her new record will be filled with coy allusions to Jake Gyllenhaal, even though they only dated for a few months, well over a year ago.

Swift (who has penned angry, sad songs about exes Joe Jonas, John Mayer and others) has indeed devoted anguished tunes about Gyllenhaal on her upcoming new album.
“She’s haunted by that relationship,” a source tells Us, adding that Gyllenhaal, 31, “totally screwed with her mind.”

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE BUY THIS CUNT A DIARY. Until then, here’s a sample of the lyrics:

“My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine…
Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with…
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games…”

Oh wait no. Those were the lyrics Taylor wrote last year about John Mayer. Because he screwed with her mind too. All these guys are just jerks I guess, who are mean to Taylor for absolutely no reason. Awww, the poor little lamb must have some kind of curse on her!

wwtdd

(19) Comments

  1. Mr. Nutt 01/27/2012 14:26

    What women isn’t a vindictive bitch? I hope he screwed more than her mind.

  2. Crumb Crisp Coating 01/27/2012 14:42

    This little psycho needs to me medicated, or needs on good dickin’ whatever is cheaper I guess.

  3. AbeVigoda10 01/27/2012 14:50

    Wait a second, you mean a 31 year old wanted to get into an 18 year old’s deliciously smelling panties and not have a long term serious relationship? HOW DARE YOU SIR! How dare you.

  4. BA732 01/27/2012 14:51

    Taylors first “sexy” shoot … http://www.brilliantarrogance.com/

  5. Cocktail 01/27/2012 15:01

    I’d like to screw with her mind, using her mouth as an access portal, naturally.

  6. harleydavidson 01/27/2012 15:13

    holy shit! bitches be crazy?

    NO FUCKING SHIT!!!! GUESS YOU MISSED THAT MEMO

  7. jimcardillo@yahoo.com 01/27/2012 15:16

    maybe he proposed skull-f*cking as a way to shut her up and she thought that was too twisted

    or maybe he “accidentally” knocked on door #2

  8. Observer_Burn Notice 01/27/2012 15:17

    Symbolically speaking…..

    ….she’s claiming she wouldn’t give up the arse portal……

  9. chip902 01/27/2012 15:23

    Just cause she sings from her heart doesn’t make her fucking vindictive asshole.

  10. jimcardillo@yahoo.com 01/27/2012 15:33

    OBN – my point exactly

    one “oops” and you are labeled dark & twisted

  11. SomeoneluvsU 01/27/2012 15:34

    Wait a minute….
    You mean Gyllenhaal thinks her song..” My gay Brokeback mountain boyfriend would sooner screw the Mexican gardener Raul” is about him???

    What an ego-maniac…

    (PS…. I miss the sad turtle jokes)

  12. SomeoneluvsU 01/27/2012 15:42

    I REALLY, REALLY hopes she dates Russell Brand.

    That will be one hell-of-an album

  13. jimcardillo@yahoo.com 01/27/2012 16:14

    maybe he brought Tobey Maguire over and she felt left out

  14. Observer_Burn Notice 01/27/2012 16:17

    SomeoneluvsU…….

    …..well said….or put….

  15. PunkA 01/27/2012 16:39

    Time for Taylor to move on to chicks already, because men are such meanies. Seriously, what dude would want to date her with that track record of immaturity? Next dude who dates her long term is to be branded as the village idiot.

  16. jimcardillo@yahoo.com 01/27/2012 16:43

    SLU, although one might be intrigued by the results if she dated Katy Perry

  17. Tripod 01/27/2012 19:36

    My mom came in my room,
    she said i was masturbating too loud.
    (thats all i got so far)

  18. Robert Paulson 01/30/2012 22:11

    The only think all Taylor Swift’s failed relationships have in common is HER.

  19. Robert Paulson 01/30/2012 22:12

    Thing… I meant Thing not think.

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