by sheer coincidence, Jennifer Aniston is getting married too

By brendon April 23, 2012 @ 1:24 PM


Because Jennifer Aniston would literally die if she had to sit back for the next few months and watch Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie plan their romantic storybook wedding, Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend Justin Theroux are apparently getting married now too. Except even sooner, and even more romantic storybookier.

Sources connected with the Elounda Beach Hotel in Crete (where Aniston’s dad was born, located about 230 miles south of Greece) tell TMZ … Aniston was there recently, scoping the place out. Our sources say Aniston mentioned a July wedding.

Crete sounds like a good choice because I don’t think that’s even a real fucking place and maybe her desperation isn’t as well known there as it is everywhere else. All the hours Aniston has spent daydreaming, arranging a roomful of cardboard cut-outs of famous people placed in chairs like an awards show rehearsal and then having someone say they agree to marry her, will finally pay off.


(16) Comments

  1. Observer 04/23/2012 13:26

    If I could fit it in…..I’d stick my dick in her cunt anyday……

  2. JennyH 04/23/2012 13:32

    Except Jennifer Aniston and her fiancé have been engaged for quite some time now, haven’t they?

  3. Mr. Nutt 04/23/2012 13:46

    Someone please prank call her as Brad asking to come back to her. She would bail on her boyfriend in a heartbeat! That would be some funny shit!

  4. Mr. Poop 04/23/2012 13:49

    I see now why her nipples are aways so hard. She has a pronounced and pouty areola.

    Its kind of like her nips are shimmed up on1x1′s

  5. Mr. Nutt 04/23/2012 13:53

    I thought she had THO all the time because she was a cold hearted bitch. The things you learn here.

  6. harleydavidson 04/23/2012 14:30

    im willing to bet she is great in bed.

    but im also willing to bet that her clam wreaks of a meth lab crossed with a compost heap

  7. SomeoneluvsU 04/23/2012 14:32

    I could hang my hat on those nipples

  8. Mr. Poop 04/23/2012 15:06

    Your top hat, or your sombrero?

  9. Miss Blueberry 04/23/2012 15:24

    JennyH engaged for a long time? that’s cute.

  10. redneckwordsofwisdom 04/23/2012 15:50

    It’s nice to see the site back up and running at full speed again. I was worriednt.

  11. Mr. Nutt 04/23/2012 15:56

    I like to decorate during the holidays.

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