Drake beat up Chris Brown over Rihanna (update!)

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 12:55 PM


Chris Brown, literally the least sympathetic ass-whooping victim on earth, had his ass whooped last night in New York after a fight broke out between him and Drake over Rihanna. “Hahaha”, said Everyone.

Rumor has it that Rihanna cheated on Brown with Drake while the two were going out, and the two have been at loggerheads ever since.
Brown (reportedly) tried to bury the hatchet by sending a bottle of champagne to Drake’s table at New York’s WIP nightclub, but the bottle was promptly returned with a message that read “I’m f*ckng the love of your life [Rihanna], deal with it.”
An altercation ensued, during which Drake allegedly punched Chris in the face before “someone” cracked his chin open with a bottle.

And Brown even tweeted the picture of his busted chin above, because, as it turns out, having someone stronger than you beat your ass for no reason kinda sucks. My only issue is that they were at a club and not a Renaissance fair where Drake could have hit Brown with a mace or pulled him apart with horses.

DELIGHTFUL UPDATE – now with pictures of blood on Browns Escalade, and if you didn’t think he deserved to get smashed in the face with a bottle before, please note that he replaced his Cadillac emblem with one of Optimus Prime.

(sorry to disappear yesterday btw. I’ve had some health issues for the past few months and every now and then it really fucks me up)


(21) Comments

  1. Mr. Nutt 06/14/2012 13:03

    That is a mixed bag. You don’t touch another guys girl but at the same time I’m grateful to the guy for pointing out to me that she’s a whore. Especially before I marry her and then loose half my stuff. I would wager that Brown hurt himself running for the door.

  2. harleydavidson 06/14/2012 13:08

    who wins when two assholes fight?

    everybody else.

  3. harleydavidson 06/14/2012 13:09

    its ok. i have a few health issues of my own.

    when i drink two much im sick for the whole next day. Doctors cant seem to figure it out.

  4. harleydavidson 06/14/2012 13:10

    i could also afford to lose abotu ten pounds but thats getting even harder since the last 30.

  5. Rok 06/14/2012 13:22

    Health issues?

    My girlfriend tells me that my dick is too big.


  6. Mr. Nutt 06/14/2012 13:36

    Tell her she needs to fuck you every day. Babies come out of there, she can take it. I told one once to take it like a woman.

  7. Beppo 06/14/2012 13:37

    Negroes fighting each other?


  8. Mr. Nutt 06/14/2012 13:37

    Brown really took one on the chin.

  9. Observer 06/14/2012 13:39

    I last lost ten pounds when I was in London…..

  10. Observer 06/14/2012 13:40

    So Rihanna cheated on one spook with a different spook……????

    …..that is unusual….

  11. Mr. Nutt 06/14/2012 13:42

    I know, right Beppo! I love to go to their neighborhoods and sample their fine cuisine and look at their fine cultural art. Their contribution to architecture is stunning and they are always asking me to carry my personal belongings for me. Such nice, friendly people.

  12. Mr. Nutt 06/14/2012 13:44

    Obs, the food in London is bad for your teeth. Or so it seems.

  13. Rok 06/14/2012 13:53


  14. Rok 06/14/2012 13:55

    new up

  15. RichInLodi 06/14/2012 13:56

    That’s not Optimus Prime, it’s the Autobot symbol. Close though.

  16. Mr. Bones 06/14/2012 13:58

    Hi all. I’m brand new here and am excited about joining this community. I love the timely and accurate reporting of the writers and am always thrilled with the comments left.

    Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and to post a placeholder in what will soon become an epic thread, I’m sure.

  17. JBizzle 06/14/2012 14:57

    Looks like someone has been eating a strawberry sundae too close to an Escalade.

  18. Pvt Slackjawed 06/15/2012 02:26

    Don’t worry B, your AIDS secret is safe with me.

  19. Dave 06/15/2012 08:38

    Who or what the fuck is drake?

  20. angry_spastic 06/15/2012 13:40

    I always wondered what a spear wound looked like.
    Good to know.

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