Marisa Miller, who was Kate Upton before Kate Upton was, announced today that she’s pregnant for the first time with her husband griffin Guess. This spindly jackass, who yes, still wears a faux-hawk and who, with a child on the way, has no idea what’s about to hit him. It’s a bat. The one in my hands, for ruining the greatest stomach in the history of bikini modeling.
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