Scientologists think Tom Cruise has telepathic powers

By brendon July 11, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

tom_cruise_oblivion

Tom Cruise has reportedly reached such an advanced level in Scientology that he now has power over the physical universe and can bend the wills of men. And also animals. Because religion and Call of Duty work the same way; you achieve and unlock levels.

Cruise is at the very advanced “OT VII” stage. Operative Thetans (have) total ‘control’ over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings.”
“At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.”

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but if Sceientolgoy can turn me into some Magneto-Charles Xavier-Aquaman hybrid, they should have advertised that and made it much more clear. Here’s my money. Point me toward the e-meters.

(image source of cruise back on the set of ‘oblivion‘ in mammoth, ca, because despite all that other stuff, tom cruise is a fucking professional who fully commits to every movie he makes = inf)

wwtdd

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mr. Pickles 07/11/2012 14:19

    He apparently can’t bend the will of a feeble woman though.

    FUCK YOU MIDGET COCKSUCKING BITCH ASS MUTHA FUCKA.

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  2. avatar
    Observer 07/11/2012 14:28

    Mr. Pickles…….

    ….very funny…..

  3. avatar
    Mr. Poop 07/11/2012 14:57

    “Her nipples were clearly protruding from under her shirt a bit. There was really nothing she could do about it, and she knew that it would attract the boys’ attention at the party.”

    I still stand by my interpretation that her son Aaron later joins in on the raping, and does in fact, cum inside of her, as she feared he might.

  4. avatar
    aquanetta jones 07/11/2012 17:45

    I wish Mr Cruise would get ass raped by Xenu…and enjoy himself immensely

  5. avatar
    Observer 07/11/2012 18:00

    Aquanetta Jones……

    ….word has it that rape is not funny…..

  6. avatar
    aquanetta jones 07/11/2012 18:19

    It may not be funny here on Earth…but on Xenu’s planet that shit is hillarious!

    Is it rape if you yell SURPRISE!

    Just checking

  7. avatar
    Observer 07/11/2012 19:07

    Aquanetta Jones……

    ….I am fairly certain it is NOT rape if you do not get imprisoned….

  8. avatar
    blueshoptrade 07/19/2012 05:18

    http://lsu.k.af accept cc or wu or bank transfer

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