Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married tomorrow

By brendon August 10, 2012 @ 7:31 PM


Or at least that’s what a bunch of French tabloids, and now the Sun, are saying today, claiming preparations have been going on at their mansion in southern France for the past three days in time for a wedding tomorrow, which will also be the 50th wedding anniversary of Pitts parents.

They also note that George Clooney–one of the very few celebrities that would be invited to what would likely be a very small wedding with 20 or so guests–is already in Italy, just about a one hour flight away.

None of which means this is true. It might be but who knows. X17 sent a photographer to drive around their estate and they say there’s no sign of any preparations for a wedding. So they’re not getting married on the street outside their gates or on the roof of their house, we can definitely rule that out.

(9) Comments

  1. avatar
    iSlomoshun 08/10/2012 20:29

    Too bad she’s not as hot as she was 5 or 6 years ago and now they have 105 kids to look after.

  2. avatar
    Honkey Dong 08/10/2012 21:42

    My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Fucking Post Office!

  3. avatar
    zencat002 08/10/2012 23:00

    No one cares. And oh yeah, Brad, RUN!!

  4. avatar
    aquanetta jones 08/11/2012 08:46

    Oooh good, I was wondering how long these two kids would continue to live in sin. Wow, now I can realx.

    FUCK YOU! Who gives a shit, now it just means she gets half.

  5. avatar
    2 fingers 1 Thumb 08/11/2012 20:00

    I asked my friends how to fix my broken weiner and they suggested a neosporin condom for the day. Where is a Dr. when you need him?

  6. avatar
    Honkey Dong 08/11/2012 22:05

    I didn’t think that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were gonna get married until everybody could legally get married in the USA. To the best of my knowledge, you still cannot marry your favorite dead sheep. What’s with the Necro-phobia?

  7. avatar
    Honkey Dong 08/12/2012 21:34

    Matt Damon!

  8. avatar
    Honkey Dong 08/12/2012 22:29

    Having three chicks at once isn’t as great as you would imagine. Sure, getting buried in luscious female flesh is sweet, but the demands on your concentration are unbelievable! It’s fuckin’ logistics! A babe has two tits, two ass cheeks, two hands, one mouth, one asshole, and one pussy. Multiply that by three! You are way outnumbered! If you pay too much attention to one of the girls, the other two gang up on you and squeeze your nutsack ’til it feels like a whitehead zit about ready to squirt on the mirror. If you don’t try to play favorites, it’s like that guy you saw on TV with the spinning plates on the sticks. Every time you think you have shit under control, one of the plates slows down and starts to wobble, forcing you to abandon whatever the fuck you were doing to address its needs. It’s a no-win situation. You can only cum once, why try to divide that into thirds?

    I’m just trying to save you from the aggravations that I have personally suffered through… and also bragging that I did three chicks at once.

  9. avatar
    Tommy Boy 08/13/2012 09:09

    Honkey Dong,

    You need to do some prep work before hand. What I do is stock pile my cum in the refrigerator and then when your ready you’ll have enough to go around. I think for three chick about a gallon should be good enough.

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