Lindsay steals jewelry from old ladies now

By brendon January 09, 2013 @ 7:17 PM


Driven to a life of crime after suffering the hardships of fortune and success,
Lindsay Lohan stole a bracelet
that Elizabeth Taylor gave to a nurse that cared for her for many years, and who then made the mistake of showing it to Lindsay while on the set of ‘Liz and Dick’.

Obviously, there’s no need to preface anything here with “allegedly” or “reportedly”, because Lindsay is 100 percent guilty and she absolutely robbed the old lady. She probably pushed her down the stairs and yelled “suck my dick” too.

“Elizabeth (Taylor) had given the nurse an expensive bracelet that was very meaningful to her and the nurse absolutely cherished it. Lindsay immediately fell in love with the bracelet the minute she saw it and was very vocal about how much she admired it. A short time later, the bracelet disappeared from the nurse’s house … on the very same day Lindsay had been to visit.
“The nurse initially gave Lindsay the benefit of the doubt, thinking that she had just accidentally forgotten to take the bracelet off after trying it on. However, that theory was soon shot down after she called Lindsay and she swore she did not take the bracelet and categorically denied having it in her possession. The nurse knew that was a blatant lie as the bracelet disappeared after Lindsay was at the house and she knew that it had to have been Lindsay who took it. In the end, it took over a week to get the bracelet back from Lindsay and it was only returned after the nurse threatened to call the cops.”

Ahh, a classic Lindsay caper. Meaning she was the only suspect and it was immediately solved. Someone should tell Danny Ocean here that she might not wanna loudly fawn over the object she plans to steal minutes later. It’s kind of a giveaway. If Lindsay tried to poison you, your drink would be green with fog coming off the top and she’d hand it to you with fireplace tongs.

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Burbank 01/09/2013 21:50

    Somebody should figure out where this bitch was when Tupac got shot. And I don’t care that she was 10 years old.

  2. avatar
    Shastar 01/09/2013 22:28

    Lindsay turns 27 this year. $10 says that the only reason she’s lived this long is because she wants to join the “27 club.”

    The fundamental difference here from people like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain being that once she’s dead, the only way she’ll be remembered is that occasionally guys will masturbate to pictures of her when she was 18 years old.

  3. avatar
    LoK 01/09/2013 23:00

    Mean Girls

  4. avatar
    Admiral 01/10/2013 05:46

    She’s proving herself rotten to the core. It’s like she wants to live up to her reputation as an asshole. At this rate she’ll be the Al Qaeda mascot in a few years.

  5. avatar
    scallywag 01/10/2013 12:55


  6. avatar
    Bonnie 01/10/2013 13:43

    rotten to the core, indeed. NO one is safe from this little thief.

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