Presidents Day headlines

By brendon February 18, 2013 @ 3:38 PM


CHARLIE SHEEN – will pay the $10,000 needed to buy a golden retriever specially trained to turn on lights, pick up objects, and other everyday situations, for a 15-year-old girl (that he has never met) who was crippled in an accident. In a related story, I waved someone though in traffic today. I’M AN AMAZING MAN! (nydn)

MAYA RUDOLPH – is pregnant for the fourth time. Which beats the number of times I assumed anyone (much less the brilliant Paul Thomas Anderson) would have sex with her by 4. (hollywood reporter)

JERRY BUSS – has owned the Lakers since 1979, during which the team won an amazing 10 championships, died today at the age of 80. Kobe Bryant will try several dozen times but eventually miss the funeral. (la times)

DREW BARRYMORE didn’t wear any makeup to visit an art gallery in Beverly Hills with her husband Will Kopelman, who had to be thrilled by the endless reminders that even ordinary things can be kinda pretty if someone adds some color and applies even the slightest bit of fucking effort. (fame/flynet)

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    LoK 02/18/2013 16:02

    Charlie Sheen is fucking awesome

  2. avatar
    Doo Doo Fresh 02/18/2013 16:16

    Sheen = winning
    Buss = winner
    Barrymore = yucky

    Anybody have a good link to the McCready porn vid? I’d like to jerk off to her once more before she is buried.

  3. avatar
    Admiral 02/18/2013 17:05

    The only time Barrymore looked even remotely good was in Wayne’s World, she was a Swedish receptionist. So, she looked for 2 minutes 20 years ago. Aging is so fucking sad. I kinda hope I die young.

  4. avatar
    mercury 02/18/2013 17:25

    Go right ahead!

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 02/18/2013 17:54

    Ouch. Childhood alcoholics sure don’t age well.

  6. avatar
    Black Mammy 02/18/2013 21:36

    @Doo Doo: I’m struggling with an ethical dilemma. Is it still cool to blow my load to Mindy McCready’s sex tape? I found her to be a titillating blend of hotness past and trashy present and, hell yeah, I’d do it again … if she wasn’t dead. Plus the goddamn dog is dead, too. Fuck.

  7. avatar
    Doo Doo Fresh 02/19/2013 10:08

    I’m not struggling with this at all – I just need a link that won’t give me a virus

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