You can have your European topless beaches, I've been to them. It's mostly German women with the Akebono body types and Hair Club dudes hanging greasy in their banana hammocks. I'll take Malibu. The beach where the crazy hot women like Heidi Klum go to bone their bodyguards and where chicks like Alessandra Ambrosio do bikini shoots for Victoria's Secret. And I'll take a tiny bikini on a woman. If you can't easily imagine getting that tiny thing off, then it's probably time to return your nuts to the man store.
Photo Credit: PCN