I was locked in my bathroom innocently checking out Candice Swanepoel behind the scenes of yet another sexy photoshoot when I got confused by the virtual entry of a bunch of male models. Not confused in the way ten-percent of young boys get confused in middle school when they realize they like watching Glee. I mean, confused as in, why the fuck do they ruin a perfectly good female photoshoot with a bunch of topless dudes?
I don’t envy male models. They have to suck a lot of dick to work their way up the chain. They have to do tons of stomach crunches. I don’t want to have to do either of those things, which is why I chose not to enter that particular profession. Coincidentally, that profession felt the same way about me. Why a dude wants to be a male model, short of the very few who make a ton of dough, I don’t quite get. But mostly I just want them to go away and leave Candice videos alone.