Selena Gomez was on Letterman last night. The conversation inevitably turned to her relationship with Justin Bieber. That’s where she released the Latin heat she’s been hiding all this time.
“No I’m single,” said Gomez. “I’m so good.”
As the crowd applauded the 20-year-old “Spring Breakers” star, the host continued with a recount of the last time Bieber was on his show.
“He said something, and I said something, and I made him cry.”" said Letterman.
Gomez laughed before saying, “well then, that makes two of us.”
After hearing this, Bieber leaped off his highchair and grabbed several crisp 100 dollar bills to wipe away his tears. He then grabbed his binky and his keys, and hopped into one of his 500,000 dollar cars and rode off to one of his three mansions to be alone with his thoughts. He must be so bummed, how will he ever find solace?
You don’t have to like the guy, but he’s worth about 19 times more than Gomez and that’s where true happiness comes from. Expensive things. I’d give anything to get paid what he does to be an untalented asshole. Hell, I pretty much do it for free here everyday. But first point to Selena I guess.