Tiger Woods Super G’ing Olympic Ski Champ Lindsey Vonn

By Wyatt March 19, 2013 @ 12:20 PM

Tiger Woods, a golfer people stopped caring about a long time ago following his sex scandal, is dating Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn, an alpine skier I’m not sure anybody ever cared about except for one week in the winter of 2010. But now Vonn just made the couple’s relationship Facebook official, and probably wears his championship golf jackets when they have sex.

I guess it wasn’t a well-kept secret but yes, I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy. I don’t plan on addressing this further as I would like to keep that part of my life between us, my family and close friends. Thank you for understanding and your continued support!

Continued support?  I didn’t know we were supporting this in the first place. I’m sure people can change and all that bullshit, but Woods had sex with 120 different women while he was married to a way hotter woman than this. You do the math. The math says double that number, half anal. That’s a lot of ass.

UPDATE: One of the porn stars Tiger used to cheat on Elin with says Tiger probably already cheating on Lindsey Vonn.

Photo credit: WENN

wwtdd

(4) Comments

  1. RangerLG 03/19/2013 13:15

    Doesn’t she have a messed up knee or something? That would make reverse cowgirl a little awkward. I bet her vag smells like packed powder. Is it true that no two vages look alike?

  2. zionium 03/19/2013 15:20

    UPDATING with unsubstantiated nothing from TMZ is not what this site does. It’s annoying. It’s like you think we want to gossip about how he’s (gasp) already done it again, because (gasp) someone said he’s -probably- already done it again. Maybe. And because (omg) we can’t believeeeeeeee Tiger would do that, our fire is now fueled and we’re to talk about it with all our BFFs.

    We’re not chicks. And those of us who are aren’t the stupid gossipy type.

    When you reference unsubstantiated shit from TMZ, you look dumb, and we feel like we’re on a gossip site. That’s not what this is. That’s not what it’s ever been. We don’t give two shits about celebrities and their lives.

    In order to make us laugh, you need two things. Content and context. Celebrities work because we understand the context of who they are. So when we see a specific person is being written about, our brains go a certain place, and then you write content against that certain context and make us laugh.

    This is not a celebrity site. This is not a gossip site. This isn’t People.com with a brand guys can tolerate and feel comfortable within. It’s really not even a site with pictures of women, though people don’t really object to supplementing good writing with visual niceness.

    It’s effectively a grungy, dirty, 2am standup special where the content happens to pertain to people of note.

    So here’s what you do next time:

    1) You need to understand who we like and who we don’t. If you don’t know, don’t guess. When you describe Tiger Woods as someone no one cares about, you lose a big chunk of people, because a lot of people still care at least a little. Plus, you’re on a site full of guys talking about how they love railing women. For all you know, Tiger Woods could be their idol.

    2) Be careful when you transition between backstory and jokes abruptly. The golf jacket reference is in the wrong place. Making something official leads to the quote. Not that joke.

    3) Ensure you’re responding to the actual situation. You were taken aback by the fact that she thought we were supporting her. We weren’t supporting her. And her message wasn’t addressed to us. I doubt anyone on this site received her actual message. So, really, she wasn’t insinuating that we supporting her. Thus when you respond to her quote as if she implied we were supporting her, we’re lost again.

    4) I’m not sure about the Math thing as a joke, but the idea of writing the article from the perspective of implying he’s going to cheat again is good and the right thing to do here. But more clever, less (literally) anal though.

    5) Under no circumstances, ever, should you update an article to reference a TMZ article that references NOTHING or is in any way gossip.

    The beauty of this site, historically, is that every article is an unsubstantiated nothing, or a sarcastic play on what is to come. The thing is, it’s written by WWTDD. And it’s fake. And we know it’s fake. And the writers know we know it’s fake. Which makes it not gossip. It makes it humor.

    Celebuzz is so filled with readers who actually do care about celebrities that WWTDD is getting a raw deal. I don’t think there’s a celebrity site on the internet that is less celebrity centric than WWTDD. It’s all superficial.

    I realize it’s easy for me to criticize. So, here’s the second half of the article with less math and anal sex.

    “Ever since his marriage imploded, Tiger hasn’t been the same. But today marks a real turning point in his life. For the first time in a while, Tiger has everything he needs to officially cheat on a significant other. Not having the ability to be adulterous clearly affected his performance both on an off the course the past two years. But expect that to change, as thanks to Lindsay, Tiger has that special someone to help him turn his life around. ”

    Note that I didn’t finish it with a link to TMZ.

  3. The Mildly Tanned Knight 03/19/2013 16:24

    Zionium is right (albeit long-winded), but I will give the writer this….Vonn is crazy-hot for an athlete, but she’s Sandra Bernhardt compared to Tiger’s ex. After fucking Nordgren (and thinking about her twin sister) for years, I don’t know how seeing Lyndsey Vonn naked even gives you an erection. She better have one hell of a down-hill slalom technique…..

  4. Cpoy 03/19/2013 18:48

    Please learn how this site works. Hint for next time: Focus on adultery being funny and nothing else. You’re welcome.

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