Jenny McCarthy Struggled In College

By Steve G. April 04, 2013 @ 1:48 PM

I was in college and I just broke up with my high school sweetheart of, like, seven years, so I hadn’t been with anyone except him. So, I met this boy in college and we saw each other a few times and then we went back to his place and did it. And right afterwards he said to me, “Are you hungry?” And I said “Yeah!” and he‘s, like, “McDonald’s is right across the street, what do you want?” And I’m like, “I want a Big Mac, extra sauce, no pickles!” And he’s like “OK” and he got up and left … and never came back. And I was in his apartment!

And I wait, like hungry … for four hours and I look out the window and I’m like, “McDonalds is closed!” and I realized, Oh my God, he left me. So I had to do the walk of shame back to my college apartment. That was, like, the worst experience. — Jenny McCarthy, to Huffington Post

Jenny McCarthy mentioned college three times in that quote. After extensively Internet researching her for three minutes, it turns out she took some classes at Southern Illinois. Which is strange because I know she fancys herself a doctor and has even cured her own son and millions of others of autism. Though they all now have TB and deadly meningitis. The real story here though is that it took Jenny McCarthy’s brain four hours to send enough of a signal to her legs to get up and look out a window to check if the restaurant directly across the street was in fact closed.

I would have given anything to see the struggle she went through attempting to walk home. Constantly having to remind herself to breath and step at the same time. Who would have guessed she’d end up taking off her clothes to make a living.

wwtdd

(10) Comments

  1. avatar
    TetraHydroCannabinol 04/04/2013 13:50

    I give up now.

  2. avatar
    JL20 04/04/2013 14:30

    THAT’S the Jenny Mccarthy pic you’re gonna use? That? Wow. It’s as if you actually think people really came here to read celebrity news written by semi functional retards. Just change the name of the site already you talentless leeches, this is not wwtdd.

  3. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/04/2013 14:33

    The REAL story here is that Jenny McCarthy ever got out of High School….never mind College….

  4. avatar
    Shortshanks 04/04/2013 14:34

    JL20…..

    ….you are an astute critic of the Celebrity Sphere……..

    …The ONLY reason she exists in the public eye is to see her tits….

  5. avatar
    TheBlackReturns 04/04/2013 15:01

    In other news, a Steve G. reports that a mop can be used to clean the floor.

  6. avatar
    Admiral 04/04/2013 15:04

    JL20, half the fun of reading WWTDD is reading the user comments, so if all you’re doing is bitching it’s counter-productive you twit.

  7. avatar
    woody 04/04/2013 17:32

    SteveG hates Jenny McMarthy just like the old writer did.

  8. avatar
    Al Bundy 04/04/2013 19:02

    My god, this story is soooooooo old. McCarthy wrote about this incident in her first book that she wrote something like 10 years ago.

  9. avatar
    smarthamster 04/04/2013 20:48

    You know the kind of person who struggles through college? The kind of person who does not know the difference between “Breath” and “Breathe”

    At least she has non autistic tits, dumbass!

  10. avatar
    catherinemarydoyle 04/06/2013 01:41

    Y’all are stupid if you don’t see how much she used people. She has used her son for money since “belly laughts”. Then her kid was weird (or not, who knows) and he was an “indigo child” with special powers….when that didn’t sell he was autistic, And then she cured him and now she SELLS cures. She’s the medicine man at the circus selling cures and people let her get away with it in hollywood like they never wood if it was Merck RFK Jr should be calling her a biostitute, not the people who, you know, actually cure disease.

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