My great Uncle Sal invented the windswept toupee. It was a pre-tousled toupee that men could wear wear out in inclement weather so their hair would look more native to the conditions. Then that bastard Sy Sperling invented fake hair implants and the toupee business died. So did my Uncle Sal, a broken and busted man. We buried him in his windswept toupee at an outdoor funeral. I’m thinking back to Uncle Sal while watching Victoria Beckham try out the new ‘pleasantly surprised’ face they gave her to look more upbeat in public settings. It’s very lifelike. Even the paparazzi bylines read ‘Victoria Beckham looks pleasantly surprised at a Paris boutique’. And don’t think the husband in this equation won’t benefit from the new mouth agape pose on this custom facial setting. Science continues to improve lives, one super rich person at a time.