Childhood Is Officially Dead, Ben Affleck Is Batman

By Michael August 23, 2013 @ 2:14 PM

Ben Affleck is going to play Batman in the sequel to Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel. Let that sink in. If you need a moment to go into the bathroom and cry and cut yourself, I understand. Snyder announced at Comic-Con this year that in the next Superman movie the Man of Steel would team up with Batman. The question then became who would play Batman now that Christian Bale screamed and emoted that he doesn’t want to do it anymore. Oceans of cyber-ink were spilled by nerds in chat rooms endlessly speculating about who it could be. No one saw this coming. Sure, Affleck turned out to be a pretty decent film director but he’s also seen far and wide as a bit of a softie, pretty boy, limited skills actor. Granted, he is one of the few actors in Hollywood who still has sex with women, so there’s that if it helps you sleep at night.

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    The Mildly Tanned Knight 08/23/2013 14:57

    You know, I saw the headline and couldn’t stop laughing. My next thought was, “Who the Hell taught Lex to say something funny or intelligent”?

    Then I looked again and saw it was Jack and suddenly everything made sense again…..

  2. avatar
    SilentMic 08/23/2013 15:59

    This is the equivalent of all those people screaming on Twitter “Who the hell is Bonny Bear?!” after the 2012 Grammys.

    If you wanna pander, dude, go ahead, but a lot of credible news outlets are saying this is not a terrible choice. For “a leading gossip reporter,” you’d think you’d have a more intelligent opinion than “har har Gigli sucked!”

  3. avatar
    iquitous 08/23/2013 20:11

    Well you were wrong last time…

  4. avatar
    Kanye is an ass 08/26/2013 08:01

    Do not want.

  5. avatar
    Warlord Dave 08/26/2013 08:15

    Did they not see Dare Devil? How did they think this was a good choice?

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