Whenever I go to extended family or large social functions and people ask me what I do, I always say I'm a pornographer. It's simply the best way to get people to leave you alone. Nobody ever asks you, 'Oh, yeah, what kind?' or 'Who do you work for' or shit like that. They just slowly edge their children away from you allowing you to get easier access to the bar. But what I'd really like to be is a bikini designer. It seems like a pretty easy job. You take what you did the last time, change the colors a bit, add a different kind of knot, then you get some crazy hot chick to model it and everybody calls you a genius. Also, if you pretend to be gay, you get to hang out in the dressing room where all the girls change. I could do that.
Photo Credit: Beach Bunny