Justin Bieber rubbed his baby like peen on a fan’s phone after she threw it onstage as a sign of being really fucking stupid. The incident happened last week at a concert at the Prudential Center in New Jersey. It seems that future Jersey bar trolls were throwing personal items on the stage in the middle of Bieber’s making of the art. When the little Lesbian Fraggle told them to ‘refrain from throwing shit and mucking up his magic, some girl thought it was a good idea to throw her expensive ass iPhone at the musical genius. Bieber stuck it down his pants and rubbed it on his junk and then proceeded to gift it to another fan. This event might seem entirely unremarkable, but a thousand years from now when historians are sifting through the plague ridden ruins of the early 2000’s civilization, they will cite New Jersey as the epicenter of the plague that would wipe out 2/3 of the human population. But, then, we always knew it would be Jersey.