Ke$ha claims that she was born with a tail but it was stolen. I guess it would explain a lot about her behavior if she wasn’t actually human but some sort of alien from a planet that deprives its infants of brain nurturing oxygen. In an interview with Heat magazine Ke$ha says that,
“I had a tail when I was born. It was a tiny tail, about a quarter of an inch, then they chopped it off and stole my tail. That was when I was little. I’m really sad about that story.”
There actually is a birth defect called a vestigial tail in which babies are born with what appears to be a small tail growing out of their lower back. It’s a leftover chromosome from when we were monkeys or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if whatever shallow gene pool Ke$ha crawled out of was full of genetic defects. Doctors usually remove the tail much like Ke$ha describes. Then again, she is also probably just fucking high and trying to get attention. Still, the next time she passes by me in a drunken Hollywood train, I’m checking for a scar above her ass, a little higher than all the others.