Russian Athletes Kissing to Protest Russian Bullshit

Kseniya Ryzhova and Tatyana Firova decided to kiss during their gold medal ceremony for winning the 4×400 relay race at some important world track and field event in Russia. The female athletes wouldn’t say for sure whether or not it was to protest Russia’s new crackdown on talking to minors about gay lifestyles or whether they were just super fucking horny and dripping wet with hot lesbian scissor kissing lust, but it’s probably the former. Which is why all gay protests ultimately suck. Even God’s special gift to men, chicks making out, has to be tarnished with the tinge of political motivations. When I was a kid, six of us boys each put in a dollar to watch two middle school girls suck face. It was magical and special and the way things ought to be. So, Russia hates gays. They hates Jews and Muslims and Mongolians and Chechnyans and if they had any blacks, they’d hate them too. It’s Russia. Now, quit your whining, strip of those track suits, and get down to exploring each other’s scary lean almost sort of female bodies.

Photo Credit: Getty