Lindsay Lohan Obeying Her Sober Coach

By Lex September 05, 2013 @ 4:32 PM

Lindsay Lohan Shows Off Her Cleavage At Ali Lohan's Fashion Show In New York
Lindsay Lohan didn’t leave rehab with just the Freshman Fifteen packed on, she got herself a Sober Coach who tracks her every move. Lindsay’s also got Oprah now as her spiritual guide, like a fat Jiminy Cricket on her shoulder telling her all the shit she shouldn’t be doing. Between the two wet blankets, they’ve managed to keep Lindsay on the wagon for an entire month. Partly by nixing some of her travel and work plans, like attending a VMA after party, for fear she’d swig some vodka and beg the boys from One Direction to turn her into a giant swamp of British love seed. They did approve Lindsay attending Fashion Week last night to see her anorexic sister’s show. I guess they also approved her dressing like she’s a long since retired porn actress embarrassing her grandson at his bar mitzvah with sloppy cleavage. Oprah needs to whisper into Lindsay’s ear that it’s time to lose a little tit weight.

Photo Credit: Splash

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    RoreyRock 09/05/2013 17:32

    Wow – Melanie Griffith got a boob job!

  2. avatar
    AyWhole 09/06/2013 01:36

    Yeah, all girls should lose tit weight. You useless fruit.

  3. avatar
    Doctor Mindbender 09/06/2013 22:47

    I read this without my glasses on as “Lindsey Lohan Obeying her Soccer Coach” and that just made me think of Coach McGuirk going, “Lindsey, have another beer.”

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