If I could sum up the manner in which I was reared, it would be shut the fuck up, I could care less about how you’re feeling, and what makes you think you’re so special. I always thought that was kind of a shitty way to raise kids, until I started seeing the millennial generation of mopes feeling blue because their English lit and Journalism degrees aren’t getting them directly into six-figure jobs at wildly creative agencies. They are immersed in the wonder of me special flower bullshit. They don’t want to march down the field for a touchdown, they just want to be given six points because way too many people that raised them told them how much their shit was beautiful.
Case in point, Marina Shifrin. She’s the chick with the big bottom who is the latest to express her disappointment in the world on YouTube. She quit her job at NMA, that Taiwanese animation company that makes quick cartoon riffs on celebrity news because her boss just wanted shit done fast, not awesome, thereby denying her inherent greatness. You see, Marina has learned that quantity and speed and audience reach matter in her line of work as much or more than quality. And not just in the world of animated celebrity spoofs, but in journalism as a whole:
“I am not saying that all journalism is bad. I am saying that most popular ‘journalism’ is bad. You can’t blame the writers, though, we’re scared into it. We’re the ones writing the stories about the poor job market, we’re the ones sitting in classes that have adopted the motto, ‘Journalism is dead.’ That’s why when we find a job that remotely carries even just the slightest essence of journalism we gently bend at the waist, place our elbows upon our desk and let the Clicks have their way with our posterior.”
Hold tight, brave Internet warrior. Your specialness shall not be thwarted. Don’t worry about those college loans, occupier, you shall be heard. If nothing else, you deserve recognition for finding a jacket that makes your ass look less huge.