Disney Being Upfront About Shitting on Star Wars

By Lex December 04, 2013 @ 7:10 PM

Star Wars episode VII easily could have been hyped with a two-year long publicity campaign talking about a wonderful new era of science fiction that also pays deference to cinematic legend. But give credit to Disney for taking over the Star Wars franchise and being very forthright about how they intend to turn the cultural phenomenon into a total and utter piece of shit. Disney kicked off their Star Wars Is Going to Royally Suck awareness campaign by setting up an Instagram account for the sequel series and having Darth Vader post a kitschy selfie. It’s a very modern way to reinforce the sucky message. Sure, you could use a digitized version of Alec Guinness taking a crap into Carrie Fisher’s mouth, but that might actually give people the wrong impression that you’re trying to be interesting or innovative. Kudos to you Disney. You’re like that rare rapist who begs the authorities not to let him out of prison because he knows he’s dangerous.

(10) Comments

  1. avatar
    DrainBammage 12/04/2013 20:22

    Who knew that Chad Vader would end up being the less cartoonish of the Vaders?

  2. avatar
    Admiral 12/04/2013 23:52

    I’m not sure what they’re trying to do here. I think they’re trying to be cute, but instead it comes off as mockery.

  3. avatar
    mercury 12/05/2013 08:28

    Why are so many people intent on destroying this franchise?

  4. avatar
    tigojones 12/05/2013 09:22

    Because setting up an Instagram account is worse than what George Lucas did with the prequels?

  5. avatar
    TitsAreNice 12/05/2013 09:45

    I was just about to comment that Lucas ruined this franchise long ago.

    Now it’s just raping a dead horse up the ass, much like Lex enjoys doing most Wednesday nights.

  6. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 12/05/2013 12:47


    …I’m rock-hard…..or at least as hard as a summer squash…

  7. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 12/05/2013 16:35

    Yeah, WTF. How could Disney possibly do worse than Lucas did on Episodes 1-3?? It is simply not possible. I for one am looking forward to the new Star Wars movies.

  8. avatar
    wwtddsucksass 12/05/2013 21:32

    It can’t be any worse than a website firing its talented but lazy creator and then trying to fill his shoes with a bunch of hacks who try to imitate him but fail miserably. Episode 7 could be two and a half hours of people dressed as clowns sucking shit out of Lucas’s beard and it would be alot more creative, original and entertaining than the shit that tried to gets passed off as posts on this site. You all have manginas! I would rather watch the Star Wars Holiday Special with a bunch of Lybians shitting in my mouth than read one more god awful.post on this page. And I really hate Lybians.

  9. avatar
    wwtddsucksass 12/05/2013 21:34

    Don’t you hate when you try to write a semi funny comment about how shitty a page is and writes tried instead of tries? Oh well, I’m still alot funnier than you losers.

  10. avatar
    TitsAreNice 12/06/2013 09:12

    “Alot” is not a word, you illiterate c┼│ntwipe.

You must be to post a comment.