Gay Activists TKO Duck Dynasty In Very First Round

By Lex December 19, 2013 @ 3:58 PM

That was a quick fight. Within about 24 hours of the furor over Phil Robertson’s anti-ass and pro-vagina comments, A&E removed him from the Duck Dynasty show he’s headlined into the most successful basic cable show in the history of that gloriously retarded medium.

It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.

That’s the quote that got gay activists to Defcon 1 in their war room, determined to make Phil Robertson choke on the pages of his own bible. It was like watching the U.S. bomb Iraq during one of the many times we seem to do that. Endless sorties of the world’s most advanced air weaponry technology taking on dudes on the ground with rusty handguns and bad mustaches. Surrender was onl a matter of when, not if. Phil Robertson was also quoted in GQ on some insensitive comments about how black folks in Louisiana didn’t mind being segregated cotton pickers before The Great Society social programs. A little naive, at best. But let’s be honest, talk about cotton picking doesn’t come close to ass dicking in terms of suiciding your career in the media.

A&E is now facing backlash over the backlash from the show’s mighty strong faithful. They’ve lost either way. They might as well start looking for the next wacky family to turn into a TV show because people find their own families lame and boring. And they best prep them not to speak of their love of vaginas. Nobody needs another reaming.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    remember 12/19/2013 21:39

    this post is another reminder that you can’t write man.. or miss.. The charm of brendan was a simple straight forward bro-logic that was a short and funny synopsis of whatever he had just posted.. which btw was always well filtered. clearly the powers that be wanted him to post more often.. he would skip literally every holiday which sucked.. and would make up some shitty excuse.. and he was arrogant. but he chose quality content. he had a good filter. and his wording was consistent with that filter. when you needlessly use the word “medium” in a post about anti-LGBT remarks made by a reality-show celebrity.. its painfully obvious that you’re either not catering to the wwtdd readership and are just using it to make something new, or that you don’t know what you’re doing. either way, because the title is still WWTDD i’m going to assume the goal is to maintain the readership by appealing to guys like me. and if thats the case, you have failed.

  2. avatar
    Admiral 12/19/2013 22:16

    I do miss Brendan’s (Brendon?) quick, simple witticisms. But, he’s gone so man up and either leave or post some funny shit in the comments. I’m tired of you jackasses whining about the past.

  3. avatar
    deadrody 12/20/2013 08:32

    I hate to break it to you, but the world does not revolve around gay activism. You and A&E may want to believe it does, but A&E will suffer far greater from the loss of fans of the show than the gay activist movement will suffer from Phil expressing his personal opinion.

    God forbid a heterosexual man should ever verbalize their preference for a woman.

    The hysterical thing is liberals are “tolerant” of others and diverse opinions EXCEPT those they disagree with. The irony is precious.

  4. avatar
    deadrody 12/20/2013 08:33

    And lets not forget that the guys on Duck Dynasty are filthy rich from making duck calls. They don’t NEED the money from A&E, so lets also not pretend there is any “TKO” happening here except to A&E’s bottom line. BRILLIANT!!!!

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