Katty Perry Didn’t Want To Have Russell Brand’s Womb Ferrets (VIDEO)

By Michael December 10, 2013 @ 3:37 PM

Katy Perry finally revealed the true reason why she and human hard-on Russell Brand split up: he wanted to fill her with a baby. It seems that the prancing Limey really wants to be a father. Katy just wasn’t ready to have kids because there are too many insipid repetitive songs left to be sung from her heart. She also says it was a way for Brand to “control” her,

“[Brand] really wanted me to have children, and I knew I wasn’t ready — I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, If I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice — I’d have to be home more.”

I for one applaud her decision. Not because of some feminist reason of her owning her reproductive destiny, but because I don’t want those two to make offspring. That would be fucking horrible. It would be just a mop of hair and tits with a chalkboard scratching voice listening to Katy’s parents read a bed time story about how the Jews are ruining the world. We couldn’t allow that child to reach adulthood and I for one am getting too old to keep sneaking into homes and stealing devil babies.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 12/10/2013 15:48

    Have you ever heard Brand talk about his political views? He’s about as smart as a 16 year old. Katy Perry definitely made the right decision.

  2. avatar
    DrainBammage 12/10/2013 17:50

    What do you get when you take Rihanna;s Frankenstein forehead and cross it with Gisele’s trannysh nose, jaw and adam’;s apple?
    Katy Fscking Perry.

    Thank god for big bouncy tits, most guys can never get passed them. Which is why those Brazilian shemales are so promising until you feel that big 8incher pushing on your groin.

    This generation has to have the ugliest frigging ‘sex symbols’ when you add the ferret Cyrus, Ke$hiat, Lady Caca and so on.

    And Brand isnt any more stupid than George Cloonety who repeats US State Department sound bytes as if its anything more than being this generations John Wayne. Brand is drug addled but right or wrong, it sounds like its his own BS he is farting out as opposed as to the robots repeating carefully prepared policy papers.
    He’s actually much better when you read him in the Guardian because you dont have to hear him, see him or deal with british shit eating condenscencion.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 12/10/2013 21:39

    “Dumped by Douchebag A, she’s landed on her feet with Douchebag B, who totally won’t dump her via text cause he’s a big sweetheart.”

  4. avatar
    TitsAreNice 12/11/2013 09:33

    I want to shit on her tits.

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