R. Kelly Thinks Chris Brown Is Jesus

By Michael December 10, 2013 @ 6:02 PM

R. Kelly came to the defense of fellow creepy singer Chris Brown by comparing him to Muhammed Ali, Martin Luther King, and Jesus Christ. Kelly was giving an interview for his new album Black Panties when the subject of his many controversies came up. You know, like him peeing on underaged girls on sex tapes and generally being a weird asshole. But how in the name of Christ can Chris Brown be like Jesus? He says of the haters that,

“I feel sorry for them, not Chris Brown, because he’s obviously one strong individual to be able to do what he’s done. He got knocked down a little bit and he climbed up. You know, that sounds like Ali to me. That sounds like Martin Luther King to me. That sounds like a lot of the greats that have walked this earth. It even sounds a little bit like Jesus to me.”

Umm, it’s been a while since I read the Good Book but I’m pretty sure Jesus never beat any girls so bad they had to go to the hospital. Martin Luther King never had a neck tattoo and a coke habit and Ali isn’t in anger rehab right now throwing rocks through his mom’s car window. What is it with rappers claiming to be like Jesus? Kanye literally thinks he’s a god and regularly compares himself to people like MLK. Guys, you figured out how to rhyme words over someone else’s beats. You aren’t special. You’re lucky.

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    Tylerdurden389 12/10/2013 18:38

    So does this mean we can whip him?

  2. avatar
    DrainBammage 12/10/2013 19:34

    So Kanye isnt the only batshit crazy black singer?

    i know his grandchildren probably werent taught to behave that way but I really how MLK’s grandkids plan to kneecap this a-hole. Im not saying kill him but Nancy Kerrigan him a few times to remind him of a few things.

    Maybe with any luck Malcolm X can come around go all poltergeist on his ass…

    Next week: How Lil Kim is like Rosa Parks.

  3. avatar
    Admiral 12/10/2013 20:32

    It’s a sad state of entertainment when one of their high-profile employees can beat a woman half to death and not lose his job or spend one night in jail for it. Chris Brown doesn’t deserve any of his good fortune. And now he’s being praised and compared to Jesus? People in this world are insane. Rapists, I mean rap-artists, doubly so.

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 12/10/2013 21:30

    Whomever thinks black people don’t have enough self-esteem has never actually met one.

  5. avatar
    readykilowatt 12/10/2013 21:48

    R Kelly also thought “old enough to bleed old enough to breed”, but official opinions varied on that point.

  6. avatar
    TitsAreNice 12/11/2013 09:26

    These nigras need a serious beating.

    So do the vapid fůckwits who think their “music” is worth paying for.

  7. avatar
    miche the killer 12/11/2013 12:28

    No, R Kelly, Rhianna is the one who “knocked down a little bit and he climbed up” and by a little bit I mean face bashed into the dashboard of her bf’s car. Chris Brown got to be an unapologetic dickqueef and ride the back of all his rich buddies to the top of the charts. God, wait, I just realized I’m thinking anything that comes out of R Kelly makes any sense…nevermind!

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