Jude Law almost lost the remainder of his hair in court when he learned that he was not the victim of tabloid phone hacks ten years ago so much as the fact that a member of his family had been selling his personal information to the press. During the News of the World trial where a bunch of pale British dudes were busted for hacking into celebrity phones, Jude was called to testify about how the tabloids suddenly knew all about his then girlfriend Sienna Miller shagging the shit out of Daniel Craig. Jude insisted that it must’ve been the work of the insidious phone hackers, as the tabloids seemed to know every single detail of his personal life. That’s when the defense unsealed some evidence and let Jude know that it was in fact some member of his close family who had sold all his private information to the gossip columnists. If Jude had a crest, it would’ve fallen.
Jude’s Fredo was never named in court, but I’m guessing he or she was taken off of his Boxing Day party list going forward. Just another reminder that almost every single bit of celebrity scoops comes from somebody selling out their patron. Celebrities who piss and moan about not being able to trust anybody around them are pretty accurate. Your maid is going through your shit looking for drugs, your gardener is snapping your photo in the shower, your sister-in-law is selling your VD blister story, your dad is the inside secret source on your love child, the cops are selling your private documents, and your high school best friend is selling photos of you with dorky glasses. Nobody respects your art. The alternative is moving out of the mansion, getting a real job, and getting laid a lot less. Take your pick, Jude. Most guys with receding hair lines in their 20′s don’t fare wonderfully in real life.
Here’s Sienna Miller in the new Esquire just to show you a piece of the upside of being a celebrity.
Photo Credit: Esquire UK