Even Al Qaeda knows you don’t just grab a Westerner and put them on camera to talk about how the U.S. is the Great Satan. No, they rehearse with their kidnap victim, they practice, they lay down some vicious and brutal beatings to completely break the spirit. Then they turn on the cameras. I’m not sure how many steps Kate Gosselin got into that process with her two young teen girls before she let them go live in a ridiculously staged Q&A on The Today Show, but it was total fail. Kate’s been doing the media rounds with all the unquestioning suckup media outlets like People magazine to try and rehabilitate her image from hellacious demon back to the shrieking Harpy that simpletons and ladies with rosacea first fell in love with. On the Today Show, her twin girls Mady and Cara, who I guess were born without their moms innate ability to smile and lie, went stone cold silent when prompted with pre-arranged questions about how normal, nice, and down-home their mom and family are. Even when Kate reminded them of their rehearsed answers, they were either too shy or too filled with human decency to ape their scripted lines. Kate tried to cover up the media disaster by making little funnies while silently calling upon her protector Hades to strike the set with a power outage. It’s hard to say precisely what Kate intends to do about her uncooperative little brats, but look closer at their next on-camera and see if you don’t notice her girls look a little stiff and wooden with Kate’s hand up their backsides.