Woody Allen’s Son Is Unhappy

By Michael January 13, 2014 @ 3:10 PM

There was one person who was not happy with Woody Allen receiving a lifetime achievement award at last night’s Golden Globes and that’s his son Ronan Farrow. Ronan claims that Dad Woody diddled his sister. No, he’s not talking about the sister Woody later married. Mia Farrow has always asserted that Woody touched his adopted daughter Dylan in the stranger danger spot when she was seven. Mind you, this was right after Woody left Mia for most definitely touching her adopted adult daughter Soon-Yi in the same spot. As a result, Ronan thinks his dad is an asshole. If my name were Ronan I’d hate my father too. Ronan tweeted,

“Missed the Woody Allen tribute — did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?”

I mostly like Woody Allen movies, but I can’t say as I would want him as a dad or let him alone around my kids. It’s sort of the way I felt about Michael Jackson. I’m gay enough to have memorized the entire Thriller album even though when I close my eyes I can see Michael pushing two sequined fingers up a sobbing McCauley Caulkin’s arse cheeks. We all have our angels and demons, though not all of our demons finger little kids I suppose. Still, Ronan needs to get over his ‘I hate Dad’ shit. Nobody wants to see a full grown man bitching about his father. I can’t even watch Hamlet without rooting against that whiny motherfucker. Go drown Woody in the Hudson and call it a vigilante kill, otherwise, shut the fuck up, you’re ruining Annie Hall and her gender ambiguous screed.

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    readykilowatt 01/13/2014 16:18

    He was married to Mia Farrow I wouldn’t be surprised if Woody molested a baby chimp.
    That shrew has never been attractive.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 01/13/2014 16:39

    I bet Ronan loves spending Woody’s money, though.

  3. avatar
    Jerkstore28 01/13/2014 17:33

    Yeah…I don’t think Ronan Farrow has to worry about “Woody’s money:” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronan_Farrow

  4. avatar
    Admiral 01/13/2014 17:39

    Diane Keaton looks frightening.

  5. avatar
    Beylerbey 01/13/2014 21:00

    I thought Hamlet killed his mother’s new husband.

    Also, Sinatra was once married to Farrow.

  6. avatar
    Milto 01/13/2014 21:12

    Loved the camera shots of the audience while the un-photoshopped Keaton went babbling on. The stony faces and looks of confusion were hilarious. On one hand, they’re used to ass-kissing guys like Allen because he’s rich, famous, and hires actors. On the other hand, he may have fingered a 7 year old, and he married his step daughter. In the end, ass-kissing won.

  7. avatar
    mattyj2001 01/14/2014 03:55

    This guy is delusional if he thinks Woody Allen is his dad. Re: Beylerbey’s comment above.

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