Did You Hear the One About the Girl Who Went Trampolining With Khloe Kardashian?

By Michael February 05, 2014 @ 1:37 PM

Kylie Jenner was rushed to the emergency room after she smashed her face on a trampoline. Apparently, she had the thoughtful idea to bounce on a trampoline with her robust sister Khloe when she ate it and was rushed to the emergency room. It’s unclear if she really hurt herself or is just being dramatic for the E! cameras that follow her everywhere like a chlamydia virus. If only Kylie had stayed in school for the double digit grades she might have had the opportunity to learn Newton’s Third Law about actions causing equal and opposite reactions. As in, Khloe comes down, you go way the fuck up. Into orbit potentially if you’re under seven stones in weight.  The family is anxiously awaiting word how this facial injury might affect Kylie’s future as an off-Strip party girl in Vegas. For her part, Khloe is wondering how she worked herself into the butt of the perfect fat girl joke once more.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    cemclk350 02/05/2014 14:44

    Trampoline accident or Kris justifying a nose and/or chin job for her 16 year old; I imagine she cornered the physician outside the mens room to slip him a hundo and advise him to tell the youngest spawn of Satan herself that it turns out she has a deviated septum and to start flipping through his catalog of celebrity rhinoplasties.

  2. avatar
    Ernst Stavro Blofeld 02/05/2014 15:30

    Close one, Kylie. Good thing the gravitational pull around the gaping chasm between Khloefoot’s furry thighs is only active around black athletes and rappers, or the poor thing could have been swallowed alive and robbed of her destiny as hip-hop’s favorite party hole.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 02/05/2014 17:03

    Between the comments and, yes, even small portions of the writing, this is one of your funnier articles. Khloe goes way the fvck up indeed.

  4. avatar
    DrainBammage 02/05/2014 18:25

    > if you’re under seven stones in weight.

    Either this blog is being outsourced to India or youre another of those Doctor Who freaks.

    Those latter ones are even more annoying than the american soccer fans who tell us that a team is playing a tie later that evening or that a fast player is ‘pacey’.

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