Kardashians Play Never Have I Ever For Calvin Klein Ad

January 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Never have I ever inspired the look for the lead character in the Disney classic Beauty and the Beast. Khloé you’re out silly billy. Before we get into this new komercial for Calvin Klein featuring the Jenndashian brothel playing a fun lobotomized version of the game “never have I ever,” let’s just give props for body inclusivity. Twenty years ago […]

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Beast Kardashian Attacks Flash Mob (VIDEO)

January 12, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

That was a close call. New footage that some lucky person sold to Backgrid for too much money shows Beast Kardashian in her natural habitat, where she goes in for the kill to feast on a flash mob incited by Kourtney Kardashian. No fast movements people! Nobody dies in the video, but from sheer Kardashian […]

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Remember Charo? Wait ‘Til You See Her Now

January 5, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Khloé Kardashian showed up to the Ellen Show looking like the bloated illegitimate child between Charo and a labradoodle recently found after being stuck in a dryer for ten years. This actually makes sense, because Beast looks like she could be carrying a litter. But in actuality she’s just knocked up with one child, and Ellen was there to get […]

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Khloe Kardashian Criticized For Preggo Workouts

December 31, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The fear of getting fat inspired P90X workouts while at the end of her second trimester. She knows any Kardashian that treads in obese waters drowns from depression, loneliness and financial instability. Just look at Rob.

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O.J. Is Going to Be a Grandpa!

December 21, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kardashian took to Instagram to officially announce she was carrying Thompson’s child in one of her rear saddlebags. An oily wet black and white bare gestational belly spray job seemed like the obvious choice.

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Khloe Kardashian Is Love Doctor For Awkward Losers

December 11, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Welcome to a world where any woman, no matter how unqualified she is, can share advice about love and dating the same way she shares STDs. Female celebrities haven’t been shy when it’s time to spew their view on topics they aren’t too familiar. 

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Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

December 1, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table – Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that isn’t an affront to God. Oh fuck, and Kylie brings… her future slut daughter fetus? They all hate Caitlyn now as much as the rest of the world, but if you want to include her, go for it, as long as you lay a tarp over the chair first. One of these super hot ladies has to go today, so head to the comments and let us know who’s the lesser of a half dozen skanks. Kim for example. 

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Khloé Kardashian Brings Lighting Crew To DMV

November 6, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Those of you who felt seismic activity at your local DMV probably already know that Khloé Kardashian was clomping around during the filming of Keeping Up With The Kardashians while getting a new license sans the “Odom” name. Her ex Lamar Odom is foaming at the mouth on a club floor somewhere and she’s filming a scene with the razzle and dazzle of the DMV for a show people used to watch. Until Odom dies in about four hours, I’m honestly more interested in Keeping Up With Lamar’s Drug And Prostitute Addiction than Keeping Up With Armenian Whores. 

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Kelly Clarkson Looks Like Hell

October 27, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

While we know that all of the aged 90’s actresses out there got together at some point and decided on a standardized face, it would appear now that Khloé Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson, and honestly the rhinestone Sea Witch herself Wynonna Judd are now gunning for the same general vibe. The trick to this exclusive industry insider look? I guess just be fat. Kardashian is making a splash for her first outing with her supposed baby bump, and she chose to debut Rosemary’s Baby in some sort of Mommy and Me girdle and the type of huge distracting coat that big ugly monsters adore.

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Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Ninety-percent of the time I’m able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared idiots babbling about Khloé’s Koko Kollection for her sister’s Kylie Cosmetics line. Feel like I was just writing in tongues. Kylie and Khloé giggle about their irresistible sex appeal while applying more and more lipstick to their faces. 

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