Simon Cowell has already achieved so much, signing a whole bunch of British pop acts I've never heard of, berating emotionally troubled singers with dying family members on his talent shows, but it all pales in comparison to his latest feat, making a baby with his buddy's wife.
"I never knew how much love and pride I would feel"
Well, yeah, not just any 54-year old man has the tenacity to bang a bastard into somebody else's wife with such reproductive ferocity. If you're going to be proud of anything, be proud of that. Unfortunately, Lauren Silverman's other son couldn't be present in the circle of pride because of the restraining order which prevents Simon from being in his presence. He'll be fine I'm sure. Maybe Woody Allen will take him to the attic so he can have something to talk about in his 20's.
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