When you’re a 20-something pretend Spanish yoga teacher and you marry old Alec Baldwin, you probably think you’re finally going to get the recognition first promised by your touchy middle school dance teacher. But Alec isn’t exactly about promoting those around him. On the few public occasions is allowed out with her husband, he often refers to her as that pretzel bending side of cunt sauce that he let have his baby. That’s not so nice. Hilaria has taken it upon herself to get noticed in the only way she knows how, doing wacky yoga poses in public. I find it unnerving to see women standing on their heads in dirty New York City parks. Just look at those rapey pigeons pretending to be looking for menthol filters. At some point those nasty bird rats are going to violate Hilaria right in her sacral chakra then Alec’s going to call them a bunch of cocksucking flying faggots and lose his position on the Central Park Zoo board. Maybe she should just start finding her inner peace back at the flat. The world can’t afford to lose any more yoga instructors with big tits.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI