Let’s Say Nice Things About Kylie Jenner in a Bikini

By Lex March 26, 2014 @ 12:28 PM

Kylie Jenner In A Bikini Poolside
There will be some among you who say that a young high school dropout already obsessed with public recognition over her still developing body probably has a shaky future ahead. I think those people are being rather generous. My disabling ADD and laziness disease combo have never allowed me to perform a longitudinal study of any kind, but I’m guessing if you track these underaged Instagram showgirls over time, you will find abnormally high rates of eating disorders, drug and alcohol addictions, and deadliest of all, E! spinoff reality shows. I’m not saying these young women would be better off being culled and euthanized as if they were genetically inferior breeding partners at the Copenhagen Zoo, but I am saying we should at least have that discussion.

Photo Credit: Kylie Jenner/Instagram

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    DicksEverywhere 03/26/2014 12:46

    She needs my semen in her rectum, among other orifices.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 03/26/2014 13:17

    PedoBearâ„¢ approved!

  3. avatar
    MacDaddy 03/26/2014 14:06

    she’s the best looking out of all of them!

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/26/2014 14:27

    The Jenners have already thwarted hundreds of assassination attempts by the K children. Eventually the tables will turn and we’ll have another Night of the Long Knives.

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 03/26/2014 17:48

    Beylerbey, so you are saying that the K’s are the SA, and the Jenners are the SS?

    I like where you are headed. This theory has real explanatory power.

  6. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/26/2014 18:34

    Indeed, Hugh. Kylie might as well change her name to Sepp Dietrich.

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