Porn Stars Make Terrible Models

You can ask a porn star to shove a banana up her ass as she fellates the archetypal grocery delivery boy while a chihuahua barks at her nipples and all she'll ask back is 'You want me to finish Gary on the dog?'. But you ask them to look sexy in clothes, things get more complicated. Imagine the porn star brain is like a computer. Not one of those newfangled MacBooks. Maybe more like a 386 maxed out with Leisure Suit Larry. You can't just start tasking it with new commands. It freezes up. This is the kind of shit the asshole interplanetary invaders from 138 Water don't know. How could they? It might yet prove to be their missing dragon scale.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

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