Scarlett Johansson Is Selfish

By Lex March 05, 2014 @ 1:30 PM

Scarlett Johansson Is Named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive

There are a million ways to get yourself a baby in Hollywood. You can barter beads for cute African kids in Mali, make your way to China and pretend to be not-gay and adopt a kid from the struggling Western provinces, buy yourself a young surrogate off ModelMayhem and slap your eggs into her uterus so she gets the stretch marks. Fuck, who’s going to stop a rich woman from swooping down with a Super Scooper and vacuuming up some Peruvian mountain infants being bathed along the shores of Titicaca. Nobody. Like the approximation of the number of great looking women in this town who go and have a baby in the prime of their career. Scarlett Johansson felt the need to feel a child growing inside of her belly. She and her French boyfriend went and made one. I get why Frenchie wanted to score a seminal victory in the womb of this amazing looking half-Jewish chick, but why did Scarlett decide to go ahead and fuck up the next Avengers? She’s a quitter. This entire career vs. starting family debate is for the 99% of women who don’t look like Scarlett Johansson. Jordan didn’t waver between basketball and working the tie counter at Macy’s so he could be home at night with his family. Try six NBA titles and whores in every city. That’s his birthright. Scarlett was born to give full and lasting erections to millions of men. A gift she has now forsaken. Selfish.

wwtdd

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    brookehiveoer 03/05/2014 13:56

    I’ve made $80,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student. Im using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it. Heres what I do,>>>>>>>>

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  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/05/2014 21:17

    It’s times like this I’m glad that this chick never did that much for me.

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