I’m pretty sure every woman has a sex tape or naked photos of themselves floating around the Internet somewhere. If my mom called and told me we had to talk, I’d slam the phone down before she could cry about a clip of her and Sam the Butcher getting jiggy on 4Chan. Demi Lovato hasn’t been right since Barney made her do nasty from me to you kisses with Baby Bop in the playhouse. She inherited an eating disorder from her mom. By nine she was choking out her Oscar Meyer snack packs to keep her junior muffin top at bay. Then came cutting and drugs and worst of all, sex with Wilmer Valderrama. That right there should be enough to make you send back the lunch you already ate. Now, somebody’s shopping her sex tape and leaking out pictures that sure do look like her showing all kinds of human like intimacy and some titties. I’d say she made some unfortunate decisions in her life, but that’d just be the drugs talking. Hers, not mine. I think the bigger lesson learned here is that Corey Feldman has been right all along. Hollywood is a bunch of creepy sex fiends and pedophiles and opportunists looking to get over on stage kids either too young or too fucked up to know any better. I’m not blaming Wilmer, he lacks the intellectual capacity to be a conspirator. I’m going to go ahead and blame Demi’s mom, for being mental. And also for pushing her daughter into stardom when going to school, meeting cute boys, and maybe going on to be an interior decorator would’ve perhaps proved healthier. But that’s just me being all judgmental while I stare at Demi’s tits.
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