After that long stretch of work you put in to get a new girlfriend naked finally, there’s a feeling of disappointment when the next day she’s suddenly wrapped in a burqa and five cardigan sweaters shivering like a Serbian war crimes victim. I feel this same type of disappointment seeing Emily Ratajkowski in bikinis. We had her naked. She’s always naked. She was naked with Robin Thicke long enough to make Robin’s wife get pissed and divorce him. So now the swimsuits? No, darling, you’re great looking, but this world doesn’t spin forward if we all start walking backward.
Photo Credit: Shay Todd