James Franco Tries to Bang a Scottish Teen

By Lex April 03, 2014 @ 1:13 PM

Lucy Clode Poses With James Franco For An Instagram Selfie In New York
It appears that James Franco tried to have sex with a seventeen year old girl he met outside his Broadway show. The 97.4% of the Internet prone to obvious knee-jerk judgments railed on James Franco for being a super creep. The other 2.6% of the Internet tried to get him to share child porn and asked him he ever fucked a baby before and liked it. Bless you, Internet. Franco made the classic mistake of trying to hook up with the Scottish teen tourist online and via text, where instead of just saying, no thank you, I’m the only girl in the world who wouldn’t have sex with James Franco, Lucy Clode felt obliged to engage him in hookup conversation, record it, then share it with the media. Oh, Lucy Clode, you are such a Murder She Wrote letdown, even for a Scottish girl. That’s not to say James Franco isn’t a tool. What kind of public figure tries to get a seventeen year old girl to meet him in a hotel room? Have Chris Hansen’s teachings gone completely unheeded? Even though technically legally in New York, I’d keep that shit to private Hollywood Hills parties after cocaine and conversations of how Roman Polanski was a genius. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. Or so say the men serving long stretches in the pen for kidnapping their nieces.

James Franco followed up the allegations with a joke, like the jokey jokemeister that he is:

I don’t know. I probably would’ve gone with the more classic ‘It wasn’t me’, or ‘Bitch set me up’. In the very least, something defense attorney like ‘I can’t wait for my day in court to prove my innocence.’ But advice to parents to not let James Franco fuck your young daughter is selfless for sure. Maybe Franco ends up winning an award out of this whole thing. Either way, expect him to punish Scotland.

Photo Credit: Lucy Clode/Instagram

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 04/03/2014 13:44

    Wha? 17 is old enough for just about anything, I’d say. They’re developed – they’ve gone through puberty and can drive a car. If you can operate a vehicle then you’re officially old enough to accidentally kill someone – that means you’re an adult. Sure, maybe she’s not emotionally or financially mature yet, but there’s no age limit on that – 80% of all women remain dumb even in adulthood.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/03/2014 14:41

    Besides she looks like she’s 25 in that black dress.

  3. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/03/2014 14:42

    oh yeah. One other point. “Clode” rhymes with “chode”.

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/03/2014 16:56


    If you can’t grow a man’s beard, please remain clean-shaven.


    Grown Men

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  6. avatar
    NautiusMaximus08 04/03/2014 22:10

    “technically (legal) in New York?” I’m sure it’s totally legal. The age of consent in NY is 17, so if she’s being honest…. I don’t know if the law applies to foreign nationals, but if I thought this girl was of (adult: 21) age, I probably would’ve given it a try.

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