Kimberly Garner Likes to Rollerblade

By Lex April 24, 2014 @ 1:06 PM

Kimberly Garner Goes Roller Blading In A Bikini Top In Santa Monica
I thought rollerblading ended a decade ago when a tank topped guy in wraparound sunglasses caught his reflection in his sports bottle and cried with a sudden gift of self-awareness. Regardless, girls on skates will continue to provide boners to millions of men who will make comments about how amazing it would be to doink a woman on wheels. We got seven billion of us humping the stationary way, but the porn industry continues to confuse us with how sex really ought go down. Like biting her boobs super hard and calling her a whore or straddling her with your legs akimbo so a camera can pan on your nut sack swinging back and forth like a Newton’s Cradle. Yeah, go on and try that some time. Chicks dig being treated like porn stars. Trust me.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

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(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 04/24/2014 15:12

    Screw you haters – inline skating is fun. It’s a shame it went “out of style.”

    Style is so goddamned stupid. Style works on the same principle as gang-rape. I don’t know much about crowd-mentalities but I do know when you get enough people together it all goes to shit. Just like democracy.

  2. avatar
    658811 04/25/2014 02:08

    Well Admiral, at least 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang-rape. Unlike inline skating…

  3. avatar
    Trommel 04/25/2014 14:34

    Who says it’s out of style? Girls in bikini’s somewhere in a tropic location cruising around…and the problem is? I didn’t realize that Garner is this friggun’ cute,

  4. Jonny Midnight 04/26/2014 21:07

    Oh, my. Oh, my, my, my, my, my. Kimberly Garner, if you do, or have ever considered doing, charity work, you would be doing me an immense favor by acknowledging my existence. I am afraid my heart would not survive an actual date.

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