Kourtney Kardashian In A Bikini

If you’re like me, you can’t wait until E! sends Chewbaca and Kourtney to The Hamptons to open up their new store for feeble minded girls with borrowed credit cards. With each new Kardashian spinoff comes the promise that one of the illiterate munions will be killed accidentally by a stoned gaffer fucking up something electrical. Kourtney Kardashian is taking a break from her life as the supervisor to the nannies of two bastard children by suntanning in Cabo. There was a rumor she was going to marry the former semi-employed snowboard instructor she keeps letting knock her up, but apparently the couple are happy as is, just being filmed monkeys for cash. This is good news for Kim who doesn’t want her totally less ass awesome older sister stealing any attention from her own wedding number three coming up whenever all the photo and TV rights deals are finally inked. It’s impossible to describe in words how much I can’t stand the Kardashians. So I just printed out this blurry picture of Kourtney and took a dump on it. Nothing personal, Kourt. I was actually thinking about your mom.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash